So, I Finally Bought This Damned Vagina Book!

No, wait—this is wholesome.

Estimated reading time: 9 minutes. Photo by Maria Talks on Unsplash.

So, it’s been a minute.

Why? Believe me, I could list all the reasons. Perhaps sometime in the future, I will. But those of you that have stuck around all this time, you deserve my endless gratitude, not my navel-gazing. And besides, I don’t feel much connection to the person and writer I was a year ago, so there’s really no need to go over the transformation process. The new me doesn’t waste your time, and gets straight to the point.

The main point of this post then, is to celebrate the example set by a Korean husband who, wanting to understand his wife and her body and needs better, loudly and proudly bought the Korean translation of The Origin of the World: A History of the Vagina (버자이너 문화사 – 교양과 문화로 읽는 여성 성기의 모든 것) by Jelto Drenth (2004; trans. by Kim Myeong-nam, 2006). And also, to present this six-foot, multicolored glowing uterus below too—the quite literal sign from the universe that inspired me to finally buy the book for myself!

Yes, God moves in mysterious ways. But technically, this sign from the heavens is an ad for a women’s hospital a few stops away (which I’m sure is excellent, but really should feature, you know, more actual women on its homepage). Its headline reads “The Uterus is the Universe,” undoubtedly inspired by L’Origine du monde/The Origin of the World, painted by Gustave Courbet in 1866:

Yeah, it’s striking, for tourists and Korean commuters alike. The ad I mean.

Still, reflecting no-nonsense attitudes to bodily functions in general, I’d wager you’re much more likely to see a uterus in Korean ads than in their Western equivalents. Which I’m confident in saying not because of my any prurient obsession with female body parts per se, but because the algorithms, endlessly confused by what I click on because of what I write about and teach, identify me as a 20-something woman one moment, then (correctly) as a sad, lonely, middle-aged cishet man the next. Sometimes, the ensuing differences in approach can be rather stark, even when it’s for the same kind of product:

On the other hand, Korea definitely isn’t without its cloying euphemisms either. Absolutely everything and anything related to a woman’s crotch these days—leggings, underwear, feminine hygiene products, labiaplasty…believe me, I get ads for them all—describes that region as a “Y존/Y-zone” now, the bastard child of all the objectifying, humiliating “Y라인/Y-lines” from the alphabetization craze of a decade ago:

Yeah, way to appeal to your customers in that last—shaming them with a misogynistic slur. So, let me close this brief foray into uteruses on a more positive note instead, with a shoutout to the Instagram account she_bombz, a glorious anthropomorphic organ who promotes education and women’s health:

Which brings me to my favorite Korean husband (sadly unnamed). Actually, I first noticed the book itself years ago, but figured there wasn’t much left for me to learn about vaginas by this stage (I try to convey this to my Bumble matches, but they seem curiously unreceptive). Also, yeah, a 15 year-old book review is an odd choice for a comeback post. Were a guy to so brazenly carry such a book around today too, that could definitely come across as—cough—somewhat trite and—ahem—performative even….

But so what? When there’s still so many jokes about men being unable to locate the clitoris, so many women who’ve had sex with men but never had an orgasm, and when even doctors can be woefully ignorant of women’s anatomy, and routinely dismiss their pain (let alone what often turn out to be life-threatening conditions), any call for greater knowledge and education should surely be shouted from the rooftops, not scorned on social media.

So, I went to a secondhand bookstore just around the corner from that ad, and finally bought the book just out of solidarity. Like I said, a sign…

And, in my book, the perfect choice for the “Sex, Sass, and Sensibility in South Korea” of my tagline.

Enjoy! And it’s good to be back!

얼마전 방통위 소속 박경신 심사위원이 자기 블로그에 음란물을 게재해서 사회적으로 물의를 빚었다. 투철하신 방통위 심사위원들은 박경신 의원의 블로그에 올라온 음란물에 철퇴를 가했으며, 아주 친절하신 기자들은 음란물에 손수 모자이크까지 해주시는 수고를 아끼지 않으셨다. 그 덕에 사람들은 도대체 그 음란물이 무엇인가 궁금해 마지 않았고, 그 궁금증을 이기지 못한 많은 네티즌들은 박경신 심사위원의 블로그를 뻔질나게 드나들며 문제의 작품을 찾기 위해 발품을 팔았다. 나와는 상관없는 일로 치부하던 중에 자주 놀러가던 C님의 서재에서(이분이 누군지 아는 분은 다 안다. 그렇지만 잘 모르는 분들은 궁금증이 폭발해서 아마 C로 시작하는 분들의 서재를 뒤지기 시작할 것이다. 기자들의 친절이 바로 이딴 식이다.) 이 사건에 대한 글을 보게 되었고, 문제의 음란물이 무엇인지 뒤지게 되었다.(물론 아주아주 순수한 마음!!!에서 그랬음을 강조한다. ㅎㅎ) 그렇게 5분을 뒤진 끝에 그 음란물이 무엇인지 알게 되었다. 그 음란물은 바로바로 이것이다.

Recently [in 2011], Park Gyeong-shin, a judge at the Korea Communications Commission, caused a social stir by posting ‘pornographic’ material on his blog.* The thorough judges of the Korea Communications Commission struck [it] down…and very kind reporters even went to the trouble of hand-making mosaics on the [offending] material. Thanks to this, people could not help but wonder what [it] was, and many netizens who could not overcome their curiosity went to Judge Park’s blog and searched for the work in question. While I was dismissing it as something that had nothing to do with me, I found myself in Mr. C’s study, where I often visited (everyone who knows who this person is, knows it. However, those who don’t know well will probably be so curious that they will start looking through the studies of people whose names start with C. Reporters’ This is how kindness works.) I came across an article about this incident, and started searching for the [image] in question. (Of course, I emphasize that I did so with a very, very pure heart!!! haha) After searching for 5 minutes, I found it. I found out what that [so-called] pornography was. It was this [painting].

*James: I remember this case quite well—it gained quite a lot of international attention. Here’s a podcast interview of him (in English) about that and other censorship issues in Korea from a few years later:

아주 아주 발칙하고 도발적인 이 음란물은 오르세 미술관에 걸려 있는 세계적으로 유명한 작품이다. 작품의 이름은 세계의 근원이다. 참 우스운 것은 박경신 심사위원 관련하여 음란물을 검색하면 돌아돌아 찾을 수 있지만 네이버 검색창에 “세계의 근원”이라는 검색어를 넣으면 사진과 함께 그 내용에 대한 자세한 설명까지 단박에 찾을 수 있다는 것이다. 진중권씨의 말대로 이번 사건을 통하여서 방통위 심사위원들과 기자들의 무식이 아주 발랄하고 상큼하게 통통 튀는 것이 만천하에 공개된 것이다.

This very lively and provocative [painting] is a world-famous work that hangs in the Musée d’Orsay. The name of the work is The Origin of the World. What’s really funny is that if you search for pornographic material related to Judge Park, you can find it all over again, but if you enter the search term “The Origin of the World” in the Naver search bar, you can instantly find a detailed explanation of the content along with the photo. As Jin Jung-kwon said [James—I don’t know who that was either sorry], through this incident, the ignorance of the Korea Communications Commission judges and reporters was revealed to the world in a lively and refreshing way.

서평을 쓰면서 왜 뜬금없이 이 그림과 얽힌 사건을 이야기하느냐? 이 책이 말하고 싶은 것이 이 사건에 그대로 농축되어 있기 때문이다. 방통위 심사위원들과 기자들이 비록 이 그림에 대해서 잘 몰랐다지만, 이 그림이 표현하고 있는 대상이 어떤 역할을 하는지에 대해서 모르지는 않았을 것이다. 그들이 미성년자가 아닌 이상 너무 잘 알고 있을 것이고 그래서 음란물이라는 묘한 잣대로 이 그림을 평가한 것이 아니겠는가? 그러면서도 음란물이라 철퇴를 가하는 것은 이 그림의 대상 즉 여성의 성기를, 그리고 그 성기가 어떤 역할을 하는 지를 공개적으로 말하는 것은 점잖지 못하다는 의식의 표현이 아닐까?

While writing a book review, why am I suddenly talking about an incident related to this painting? This is because what this book wants to say is concentrated in this incident. Although the Korea Communications Commission judges and reporters did not know much about this painting, they would not have been unaware of the role played by the object it represents. Unless they are minors, they would know it all too well, and wouldn’t that be why they evaluated this picture with the strange standard of being pornographic? At the same time, isn’t their withdrawal of the painting, because it is pornographic, an expression of the awareness that it is impolite to publicly talk about the subject of this painting, namely the female genitals, and what role the genitals play?

예전에 군대 있을 때의 이야기이다. 어느날 인사 계통을 통하여 성교육이 잡혀있으니 인사과에 소속된 모든 간부들은 그 교육에 참석해야 한다는 명령이 하달된 적이 있다. 한 시간이 넘는 거리를 차를 타고 이동해서 교육 장소에 도착했다. 어쩔수 없이 참석한 교육이라 빨리 끝나기만을 바라는데 강사가 묘한 것을 물어본다.

This is a story from when I was in the military. One day, an order was issued that sex education was being provided through the personnel system and that all executives belonging to the human resources department were required to attend the training. I arrived at the training site after driving over an hour. Since I had no choice but to attend the training, I just hoped it would end quickly, but the instructor asked me a strange question.

“여러분 남자의 성기를 뭐라고 부릅니까? 자유롭게 대답해 보세요.”

“What do you call a man’s penis? Answer freely.”

순간 침묵이 흐른다. 당시 강사는 여성이었고, 교육 대상자는 남성과 여성이 골고루 섞여 있었다. 강사가 다시 한번 질문을 하자 원사급의 상사들(대개 나이가 40후반에서 50초반 정도 될 것이다) 사이에서 장난스럽게 대답이 나오기 시작한다. 혹 음란한 이야기라 오해하실 분들이 계시겠지만 당시 분위기를 위해서 그대로 기록해 본다. “자지요” “똘똘이요” “좆이요” 등등등… 나도 남자이지만 남자의 성기를 가리키는 말이 그렇게 많은 줄은 몰랐다. 다음으로 이 강사가 던진 질문이 무엇일까? 그렇다. 충분히 예상이 가능하다.

There is silence for a moment. At the time, the instructor was a woman, and the trainees were an even mix of men and women. When the instructor asked the question again, the sergeant-level superiors (who are usually in their late 40s to early 50s) begin to come up with playful answers. Some people may misunderstand this as an obscene story, but I am recording it as is for the sake of the atmosphere at the time. “It’s a dick,” “It’s a cock,” “It’s a prick,” etc… I’m a guy too, but I didn’t know there were so many words referring to a man’s penis. What was the next question this instructor asked? Yes. [In hindsight] it was completely predictable.

“그렇다면 여러분 여자의 성기를 뭐라고 부릅니까?”

“Then what do you call a woman’s genitals?”

두번째 질문이었음에도 불구하고 이번에는 더 뻘쭘해지기 시작했다. 괜시리 옆에 앉아 있는 여군들의 눈치를 보게 된다. “이런 젠장. 왜 이딴걸 묻는 거지?” 아까보다 두 배는 되는 정적이 흐른다음에 이번에도 원사급의 상사분들에게서 대답이 나오기 시작했다. 역시 연륜은 무시못하나 보다. “보지요” “씹이요” “냄비요” “조개요” 등등등… 와우. 먼저 던진 질문보다 더 많은 대답이 쏟아지기 시작했다. 괜시리 내 얼굴이 빨개졌다. 대답이 마무리 된 다음에 강사가 던진 말을 아직까지 잊지 못한다.

Even though it was the second question, it started to get more confusing this time. For no reason, I notice the looks of the female soldiers sitting next to me, [them silently saying], “Holy shit. Why are you asking this?” After twice as much silence as before, answers began to come from the sergeant-level superiors. As expected, age cannot be ignored. “Pussy,” “vag,” “taco,” “lady bits,” etc. Wow. More answers began to pour in than the questions asked first. For no reason my face turned red. I still can’t forget what the instructor said after the answer was finished.

“여러분 남자의 성기와 여자의 성기를 가리키는 말이 이렇게 많은데요, 그 중에 정식 명칭은 무엇일까요? 남자의 성기는 자지, 여자의 성기는 보지입니다. 이상하게 생각하지 마세요. 이게 표준어입니다. 이 사실을 이상하게 생각하니까 우리의 성의식이 비뚤어지기 시작하는 것입니다.”

“Everyone, there are so many words for the male and female genitals. What is the official name for them? The male genitalia is the penis, and the female genitalia is the vagina. Don’t think it strange. This is standard language. This fact is strange. “If you think about it, these names [just lead to confusion and distort our understanding of sex and our bodies].”

그렇다. 자지와 보지는 음란한 말이 아니라 남성의 성기와 여성의 성기를 가리키는 표준어였던 것이다. 그럼에도 불구하고 우리는 왜 이 단어들을 음란하다 생각하면서, 입에 올리기를 터부시하는 것일까? 어쩔수 없이 가리켜야 하는 순간에도 자지와 보지라는 표준어가 아니라 거시기, 거기 등등 애매모호한 말을 사용하는 것일까? 아마도 이게 성에 대한 문화적인 터부의 영향이 아닐까? 특히 여성의 성기에 대해서 더 민감한 것은 이에 대한 더 많은 금기와 공포가 존재하기 때문이 아니겠는가? 그러면서도 모순적이게 몇몇의 동성 친구들이 모이면 EDPS를 늘어놓으면서 낄낄대는 것이 남녀 상관없이 우리 모두의 모습이 아닌가? 이 책은 이러한 성에 대한, 특히 여성의 성기에 대해 문화적으로 접근하고 있다.

Yes. Cock and pussy and so on are not obscene words, but are standard words referring to the male genitalia and female genitalia. Nevertheless, why do we consider these words obscene and taboo to say them? ….Perhaps this is an effect of cultural taboos about sex? In particular, isn’t the reason we are more sensitive about women’s genitals because there are more taboos and fears about it? Yet, paradoxically, when a few friends of the same sex gather together, isn’t it the way all of us, regardless of gender, laugh while talking about EDPS? [James—NO idea what this acronym refers to sorry, especially in this context!] This book takes a cultural approach to sexuality, especially to women’s genitals.

이 책을 읽으면 여성에 대한 문화적인 선입견이 여성에 대해, 그리고 남성에 대해 얼마나 끔찍한 테러를 자행했는지 알게 된다. 갖가지 질병들을 히스테리라는 정의하기 애매한 명칭하에 묶어 버리고, 치료법으로 클리토리스 절제와 자궁 절제를 내세우는 외과의들의 모습은 끔찍하기만 한다. 더 끔찍한 사실은 2차 대전까지 이러한 치료법이 유행하고 꽤 설득력을 가졌다는 사실이다. 또한 현재 아프리카에서 행해지고 있는 여성 할례가 얼마나 비인간적인 것인지, 그리고 이러한 여성 할례가 청교도적인 금욕주의가 만연했던 18~19세기 미국에서도 행해졌다는 사실을 알게 되면서 여성에 대한, 더 정확하게 말하면 여성의 성기에 대한 테러가 우리가 알듯이 일부 몰지각한 이슬람권 또는 아프리카만의 특징이 아니라, 전세계적으로 행해진 보편적인 현상이었다는 것이다. 한 가지 재미있는 것은 오늘날 성인 용품 가게에나 가야 살 수 있는 바이브레이터가 초창기에는 의료기계로 발명되었고, 보급되었다는 사실이다.

If you read this book, you will learn how cultural prejudice against women has perpetrated terrible terrorism against women and men. The sight of surgeons lumping various diseases under the vague name of hysteria and promoting clitoris and hysterectomies as treatments is nothing short of appalling. What’s even more horrifying is that these treatments were popular and quite persuasive until World War II. Additionally, as we learned how inhumane the female circumcision currently practiced in Africa is, and the fact that this type of female circumcision was also practiced in the United States in the 18th and 19th centuries, when puritanical asceticism was prevalent, terrorism against women, or more precisely, against women’s genitals, began to emerge. As we know, it was not a characteristic of some insensitive Islamic world or only Africa, but a universal phenomenon that occurred all over the world. One interesting thing is that vibrators, which today can only be purchased at adult stores, were initially invented and distributed as medical devices.

남성이 기록했지만, 흔히 기대하듯이 음란하거나 야릇하지 않다. 저자가 성과학자이기 때문에 전반적으로 건조하게 설명을 하고 있다. 그렇지만 “버자이어 문화사”라는 제목과 여성의 나체가 그려진 표지 디자인은 이 책을 공공의 장소에서 대 놓고 읽기 주저하게 만든다. 오죽하면 아내가 사무실에 있는 이 책 괜히 오해받지 말고 집에 가져다 놓으라고 하겠는가? 그렇지만 나는 당당하게 이 책을 들고 다니면서 봤다. 출근할 때, 가게에 갈 때, 우체국에 갈 때 아무런 거리낌 없이 들고 다녔다. 아마 몇몇 사람들은 나를 변태로 생각했을지도 모른다. 그렇지만 이 책을 들고 다니면서 읽는 것은 내게 있어서 잘못된 성문화에 대한 작은 반항이었다.

Although this book was written by a man, it is not obscene or pornographic, as is commonly expected. Because the author is a sexologist, the overall explanation is dry. However, the [Korean] title A Cultural History of the Vagina and the cover design depicting a nude female body make people hesitant to read this book in public. Why else would my wife tell me to bring this book from the office home so that my reading it doesn’t get misunderstood? However, I proudly carried this book in public and read it. I carried it with me without any hesitation when going to work, the store, or the post office. Maybe some people thought I was a pervert. However, carrying around and reading this book was, for me, a small rebellion against ignorance and harmful sexual culture.

마지막으로 이 책의 원제는 “The origin of the world”로 세계의 근원 정도로 해석할 수 있지 않을까? 아마 저자는 쿠르베라는 발칙한 아저씨의 동명의 그림을 알고 있었을 것이다. 쿠르베 아저씨가 누구냐? 바로 요 사람이다. 요 아저씨 때문에 많은 점잖으신 분들의 무식이 탄로 난 것이다.

Lastly, the original title of this book is The Origin of the World….Perhaps the author was aware of the painting of the same name by a cheeky man named Courbet, this person below. Because of him, [like Judge Park] the ignorance of many [so-called ‘decent’] people was exposed. (End.)

Related Links:

• “Sex, Sass, and Sensibility in South Korea” 뭐야?
• Revealing the Korean Body Politic, Part 7: Keeping abreast of Korean bodylines.
• Two Ads With the Same Female Model, for the Same Kind of Product. Spot the Differences in the One Aimed at Men.
• Why Does Korea Have so Many of Those Damn Smutty Ads?
• If She’s Got Bette Davis Eyes…
• Headless Images Dehumanize Obese People. It’s Now a Fact.

If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)