Follow These Two Blogs for Up-to-date Statistics and Commentary on Social Trends in South Korea!

It can be a real challenge sometimes finding the insider knowledge I use to pretend I’m smart, let alone knowing what to make of it. Fortunately, I can rely on these sources to provide both!

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes, plus 15-minute video. Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash.

Without any further ado, the first blog is Connecting the Data Dots by Ssen Kim, which has many excellent short posts in English.

Alas, there seems to be no information about the author. But I do know that in the very first post of theirs I read, “Has The M-shaped Curve Of South Korea’s Female Employment Rate Disappeared?“, they not only directly addressed a question I’ve long been worried about getting called out on, they’d even provided some handy graphs for me to distract my accusers with too.

So last winter, while preparing this semester’s Korean Gender Studies class, I realized I just had to use them. But as the day of this week’s lecture on the birthrate approached, a crisis loomed. While I found the topic very interesting, and you will when you read that post too, I started considereing it from the perspective of my already disengaged young students. Still scarred from growing up during COVID, and barely older than children themselves, would they find the topic of why Koreans aren’t having children completely irrelevant to them? Arcane even?

What to do?

Continue reading “Follow These Two Blogs for Up-to-date Statistics and Commentary on Social Trends in South Korea!”

TradWife TikToks Trouble Me

From banking to taking care of babies, it can be a real headache living and working in Korea as a foreigner. So much so, it’s usually objectively easier to let a Korean partner deal with any bureaucratic issues. And very, very possible to fall into some decidedly traditional gender roles in the process.

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes. Photo by Elle Morre on Unsplash.

Heartache, I expected from getting divorced. Backache? Not so much.

Every Saturday morning though, I have to contort myself like Houdini to clean my apartment’s tiny bathroom, lest I be judged on it later that evening. I have to vacuum and mop my floors often too, desperate to avoid the distinctive, single middle-aged guy smell my friend’s girlfriends all point out when they come over to break up with him. And in particular, I absolutely have to wash my dishes after every meal, because I have to do them in a kitchen sink that was expressly designed for the 155-160cm height of the average Korean woman of over 40 years ago. Let three meals’ worth pile up though, and it’s not just my lack of self-discipline that I’ll be wincing at.

Seriously, walking around my apartment like a hunchback every day gives a whole new meaning to feeling single. As a cishet, ostensibly middle-class, able-bodied man, it’s quite the novelty being a victim of the many gender norms literally built into our homes and cities.

Perhaps that’s why during my latest recuperation on my hard living room floor, I was finally persuaded to reach over and pick up Sociology of Everyday Life in New Zealand, ed. by Claudia Bell (2001), heading straight to the chapter “Negotiating Housework,” by Ruth Habgood (pp. 52-69). Amongst many other gems from the book I wish I’d seen earlier, this part really stood out:

Continue reading “TradWife TikToks Trouble Me”

Smile Like You Have Laser Tits!

Knowing the concepts of “Ambiguous Loss” and “Learned Helplessness” can be useful for understanding a personal or professional rut you’re in. But for actually getting out of one, smiling “like you have laser tits” is a simple, fun, and surprisingly effective method—and has helped me stave off a repeat of clinical depression for nearly 30 years too!

Estimated reading time: 15 minutes; if you haven’t already, please consider reading the introduction and Part 1 first. Photo by Conner Ching on Unsplash.

Only 10 a week.

Ten.

If I extend Bumble’s filters to neighboring cities, entailing weekend-only relationships, that’s about how many age-appropriate profiles I encounter in a good week, in a region of ten million people. And of those ten profiles, nine will include either tourists, scammers, MAGA or Yoon Seok-yeol cultists, women my age using using pictures from their 20s, chain-smokers, anti-vaxxers, those whose only book is the Bible, five or six with no bios or personal information whatsoever, “ethical non-monogamists,” and/or—shudder—dog people.

Yes, it’s always going to be tough wanting a fluent English speaker. Yes, heaven forbid that compatible hobbies and personalities aren’t enough either, and that I only swipe right on women I find attractive too. Yes, there’s other apps I could talk about. Or what I’ve been doing offline as well. Yes, there’s finally going to bars to consider, and maybe it’s about time I should. Yes, we could indeed dwell on my game, or supposed lack thereof.

But that would be boring for both of us. As I stressed in the introduction, my giving dating advice, or wanting to receive your tips, is absolutely not the point of this series.

What it is about, is “how to cope when life isn’t going the direction you expected, when you feel trapped, when nothing you do to escape seems to work, and you just feel like giving up.” So, although I personally learned the following lessons through trying and then giving up on seeking a long-term partner, and ultimately being all the happier for it, all of the advice below is centered on providing answers for when you find yourself in that kind of space too, whatever your own personal or professional goals may be.

Very much inspired by, mirroring, and further developing Atlantic staff writer Faith Hill‘s August 2024 article, “The People Who Quit Dating” though, first, in sections 3 and 4 below, I do really want to convey what the dating scene is actually like in 2025. Especially to well-meaning family members and friends already with partners and spouses, who tend to be, well, completely clueless and unsympathetic about that frankly. I want to empathize with any of my fellow singles too, who may also be struggling and disheartened like I was. In particular, by giving their feelings names in section 5, “ambiguous loss,” and “learned helplessness,” that show they’re not alone in suffering from them, and which have a whole host of associated therapies and solutions. Then finally in section 6, I’ll talk about my own experience of—yes—clinical depression in my early-20s, for the sake of imparting just how serious I am about my own solution of smiling “like you have laser tits”—which anybody can benefit from!

Photo by Mitsuo JR on Unsplash.

Continue reading “Smile Like You Have Laser Tits!”

“Work hard. Know your shit. Show your shit. And then feel entitled.”

Not everyone can see the pedagogical value of a film about finding the clitoris, let alone apply its lessons to power networking. So, if you do have a special skill set like that, then flaunt it baby—and these easy to learn methods will show you how.

Estimated reading time, 15 minutes; if you haven’t already, please consider reading the introduction first. Photo by Carl Jorgensen on Unsplash.

I have a confession to make.

The truth is, if you’re reading this because we talked recently at an exhibition of your art, a screening of your film, your band’s gig, your lecture on the Korean #MeToo Movement, an information session about your NGO’s work, and so on, our meeting was no coincidence.

Unbeknownst to you, I’d already been all over your website and social media. When I liked what I saw, I decided I just had to meet you in person. Same applies if the event wasn’t even about you, but I knew you were coming.

Indeed, if we met during this cold winter especially, you, and you alone, may have been the only reason I left my apartment at all that day.

If those stalker-like vibes don’t already have you reaching for a lighter to burn my business card with though, I fear also revealing I would still never have had the guts to approach you, had I not once watched a film about finding the clitoris, will have you burying the ashes too.

But seriously, there’s a lot to cover before we get to that point, and we’ll only arrive there once we’re both good and ready. So instead, let’s start on how, the fact is, now you’ve taken the time to look me up too. And not simply because you appreciated my interest in your work either, because of my knowing your shit as it were. (Which, being genuine, was a very easy trick to pull off.) More, it was because you thought I also seemed to be interesting, my having tricked you with just enough long words and wide hand gestures to make me seem just as knowledgeable and passionate about my work as you are yours.

In other words, that I seemed to know my shit too.

Which was a lot harder to pull off. And even just six months ago, probably not something I’d have been capable of convincing you of at all.

So how did I do it?

My recipe to success has three main steps, with ever fresher and more active ingredients added at each. And like most recipe books these days, it may seem like I’m obliged to annoy you with a long and rambling anecdote before getting to the meat of this first one. Only, the anecdote is the meat. When I was 21, I did suffer from clinical depression, my crippling social anxiety always preventing me from overcoming my chronic loneliness. The advice I heard as I was recovering, did have me dancing shirtless to Ecuador in nightclubs by the summer, moving in with drag queens and flamboyant gay sex workers, getting on a plane to Korea, and giving lectures to audiences of hundreds. That same advice did, seemingly by magic, render that awkward nerd you thought you saw in the corner one minute at that party this winter, playing with the host’s cat, to that suave and sophisticated guy beelining you to shake your hand the next.

Do you have your pots and pans ready?

Fresh Breeze by Gil Elvgren, 1960. Source: Amazon.

Continue reading ““Work hard. Know your shit. Show your shit. And then feel entitled.””

Life is Immense 인생은 광대해

In dark times, strategies for accepting and embracing the single life have much to offer anyone seeking a sense of agency and empowerment. Here’s announcing my deep dive into some that worked for me, which completely upend outdated stereotypes that your personality is set once you’re 30!

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes. Photo by pawel szvmanski on Unsplash.

“Straight men rarely write about the end of their marriages,” I happened to read shortly after the end of mine, and that traditional gender roles were to blame. Forced to defy those ever since everyone in New Zealand pegged me as gay in my early-20s though, I resolved right there and then it wouldn’t be a case of if I would ever take on that mantle, but when.

My naïve, happy mistake. Unfortunately for exploring that topic, I’m on much friendlier terms with my ex than when we left the courtroom three years ago. (It’s so annoying.) We’re both fully committed to amicably co-parenting our teenage daughters too. If I could still offer any genuine insights or advice about divorce without getting too personal about ours then, avoiding potentially embarrassing or hurting anyone involved, I would. But I just can’t see how.

Besides, I’m long since past moping. I’m single now, for the first time in over 20 years. Happy. Been dating even. Were I to talk about what I’ve learned from that transition instead, any second-hand embarrassment or judgments would be entirely on me.

I sense some of you already cringing in anticipation. But it’s not how it sounds. Actually, the advice which follows is barely about dating at all, and was prompted by the prospect of quitting it entirely, inspired by a August 2024 Atlantic article by staff writer Faith Hill on people who did just that. Reading her article right about when what had felt like a flood of likes, matches, and dates over the summer was starting to reduce to a trickle by autumn, and ultimately no dates at all since, she helped me realize I’m probably going to remain single for much, much longer than I expected (indefinitely even), for reasons largely beyond my control. In particular, she had such a rare, enormously helpful piece of actual practical advice from a therapist for coming to terms with all the angst and frustration I’d felt, rather than just offering the typical unhelpful cliches about all the fish in the sea and how great single life supposedly was (so shut up and stop complaining already), that I absolutely had to share for that alone.

Yet that advice was only about dating. (Or indeed, not dating.) And it only had the impact on me it did, because it dovetailed with so many other pieces of advice I’ve gathered over the years about how to cope when life isn’t going the direction you expected, when you feel trapped, when nothing you do to escape seems to work, and you just feel like giving up.

I realized by the winter too, that the validation from getting matches and dates had only been a crutch. Blinding me from the personal and professional rut I was in, and the need to do the hard work of actually putting that advice into practice.

Hence the long break sorry. Much has changed for me in the last five months, and periodically writing and rewriting this deep dive over that time has been a fundamental part of that process.

Now that I suddenly find it in a form I’m happy to share though, I’ll gladly take as a sign that my transformation, if not nearing completion, at least has enough momentum that I know I’ll see it through. I honestly do think too, that I’ve stumbled on some methods that completely upend outdated notions that our personalities are fixed by our 30s, and am very excited to share my secrets!

And once I do, I think I can give myself permission to resume my typical feminist overanalysis and critiques again ;)

“Life is Immense (인생은 광대해)” comes from the 1998 Italian, English-language film The Legend of 1900; I’ll explain in the conclusion! Image source: 페페.

Much too long for a single post though, in Part 1 of this series I’ll jump straight ahead to the most useful and universally applicable advice. (It’s centered around two quotes by Mary Schmich and Mindy Kaling, but the contexts I give them and my interpretations are very much my own.) Next, in Part 2, I’ll very briefly comment on Hill’s article, and how it mirrors my own experience. Rest assured though, talking about the hows and whys of my lack of dates would be just as boring for me to write as for you to read, so I’ll avoid those as much as possible. But how I handled the result is needed, as the advice I end with—wholly my own, and far more serious and useful than its subheading suggests—is very much rooted in that. Finally, Part 3 will be the conclusion, with links to many other pieces of advice that unfortunately would have been just too long to develop here.

(For ease of navigation, here are the three groups of posts in the series; I’ll add links to each as they go up.)

  • Part 1
    • 1. “Do one thing, every day, that scares you.”
    • 2a. “Chicks love confidence (sic).”
    • 2b. “Work hard. Know your shit. Show your shit. And then feel entitled.”
  • Part 2
    • 3. “Being single can be hard—but the search for love may be harder.”
    • 4. It’s Okay to be Lonely
    • 5. Use Insights from Psychology and Therapy
    • 6. Smile Like You Have Laser Tits
  • Part 3
    • 7. Make a Conscious Decision to Leave the Purgatory. Live Lewis’s Thought Exercise
    • 8. The Rest
    • 9. Life is Immense 인생은 광대해

See you next Monday then, for the first installment. It’s good to be back! And extremely annoying that, despite my best intentions, I actually had a great date last night—meeting her literally 24 hours before telling you all how great it’s been feeling not even looking for one. Grrrr.

If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)

Studying Sociology with Simu Liu!

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes. Sources: WBur, Mimi Thian on Unsplash (cropped).

I went on a date through Bumble recently. Yes, even I manage to pull that off sometimes. And no, don’t worry—this post is about Simu Liu.

You see, for the benefit of those blessed without ever having used dating apps, most give you the option of using prompts to get conversations going with nervous matches. You can come up with your own, or use one of the app’s suggestions. My suitress chose one of the latter—”What’s the last thing that made you smile?”. Commence instant mad pacing of my apartment. How to sound smart, sexy, and sincere in response, and all in just the one initial paragraph Bumble allows before—if—you get a reply?

Then it hit me—she’d recently lived in Canada for a number of years. I was 1/3rd into Liu’s autobiography, We Were Dreamers: An Immigrant Superhero Origin Story (2022) for a bookclub meeting soon. That was the connection. I could say how, never having watched any of his work, nor particularly wanting to, I hadn’t been all that enthused about the club’s choice. Only then, that the story of his parents falling in love and moving to Canada was just so damned wholesome and nice, that I couldn’t help but smile while reading it. That I was seriously annoyed at how much I was enjoying it.

I know, right—seducing by just being yourself, and saying the actual truth? And it worked? Who’d have thought?!

Little did I know, the next few pages would begin to outline the ‘Tiger Parenting’ he received, which was really just plain emotional neglect and physical abuse. And, in the first of two excerpts from the book I want to share with you, I especially remembered what he wrote at about the period his parents “graduated from spanking to full-on hitting” when he was 12. Which was also when his hormones were appearing, he was a Chinese boy growing up in Canada, and he needed emotional support more than ever (Chapter 9, pp. 104-5):

“I came out of the whole experience [of my crush] with a lot of anger…at myself for being completely ill-equipped to deal with my feelings, and at my parents, who I felt had trapped me into a life I no longer wanted. They had given me neither the emotional maturity nor the social wherewithal to have any shot with girls.”

“And then, of course, there was the total mindfuck that came with growing up Asian and male, in a society that saw us as nothing more than a bunch of derogatory stereotypes. Asian men were frequently depicted in Western media as awkward, nerdy and completely undatable—pretty much exactly what my parents were trying to make me into. I know this is a lot of really heavy stuff to put into the psyche of a twelve-year-old, but it definitely affected me, and it definitely affected every Asian boy that grew up in a Western country. The double whammy of being teased on the playground with ching-chong noises and then seeing ourselves ridiculed on the screen robbed us of our natural confidence. Without proper guidance from our parents, who were not terribly concerned with our self-confidence, most of us grew up feeling like we weren’t worthy to be loved or desired; like whatever we were was not enough.”

“Disillusioned and embittered, I began to pull away from my parents, my upbringing and my heritage. I started acting out, talking back and refusing to do homework. I didn’t want to be a math genius, or a scientist, or a sidekick—I wanted to be Thomas MacDonald, the mediocre-yet-charming leading man who got B-minuses and called his parents by their first names. I didn’t want to be Jackie Chan or Jet Li—I wanted to be hot stuff like Justin Timberlake, the kind of guy that dated Britney Spears and had bras thrown at him onstage.”

“Obviously, my parents were not down with my newfound rebelliousness.”

“‘Look at everything we’ve invested in you,’ they spat. ‘You’re a spoiled brat who’s squandering all of our effort and money, and wasting time on useless things. You’re nothing but a loser!'”

“’Fuck you! I don’t want any of it.'”

“WHAP!”

Update: It’s a point made many times before. But just two days later, its continuing relevance was demonstrated to me by blog mentor  Jae-Ha Kim 김재하, who covered a very similar same issue in the post “Does Racist Vintage Art Get a Pass?” on her SubStack K-Culture with Jae-Ha Kim. I’ll post two images from that to demonstrate what I mean, and encourage you to read the (non-)controversy in full:

Source: K-Culture with Jae-Ha Kim.

Next, for reasons I’ll explain in a moment, let me pass on what the second excerpt from We Were Dreamers immediately reminded of before I give Simu Liu’s words themselves: this paragraph from “Dropping Out” by Daniel Pinchbeck, (pp.102-3), in the autobiographical story collection Personals: Dreams and Nightmares from the Lives of Twenty Young Writers, edited by Thomas Beller (image source: Amazon):

“For one Wesleyan history class, I read the works of Pierre Bourdieu, a French sociologist. Bourdieu wrote about the concept of ‘cultural capital’—how cultural experiences acted as a boundary between the elite and the lower classes. I saw how the high price of the Wesleyan degree was a prime example of ‘cultural capital.’ The purpose of Wesleyan and other, similar colleges is not education so much as it is a way of signifying one’s membership in a certain class. An elite liberal arts degree is an indoctrination in high expectations, not hard actualities. I still maintain a sharp awareness of how the machinery of privilege works, how certain universities create an elite that reinforces itself through school connections, and the alumni’s shared, smug belief in their own entitlement.”

I first provide that because, unlike when I read the following by Liu, in the cold light of day it feels I was projecting to a certain extent, and a little unfair to connect his classmates with it when they were guilty of no more being driven and ambitious whereas Liu (and I!) were not. But no matter. If it provides an opportunity to pass on where I first learned what cultural capital was, a concept that has been very helpful to me over the last nearly 30 years (sigh) and so am very happy to share, then I’ll gladly take advantage (Chapter 14, pp. 160-161):

“On my first day of classes I could immediately tell that I was dealing with a vastly different breed of student. Incumbent Ivey [School of Business] kids were not at all like the dumb, borderline illiterate eighteen-year-olds that I’d wiped the floor with during my freshman year—these guys read the Wall Street Journal every morning and monitored the stock market religiously. They were alphas, who strode around campus with the absolute conviction that they were the literal white knights at the vanguard of a capitalist society just ready to be exploited for all it was worth, and they were ready to make it go their way. Most of them came from considerable wealth—some were scions of multibillion-dollar corporations.”

“You could mock their American Psycho–level douchery and harp on their arrogance, but there was no denying that these were men and women with goals. Unfortunately, the same could not be said about me.”

Thank you Liu! And I will watch your stuff now!

Related Posts:

If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)

Older Korean Men Just LOVE the F-Word?

Just an amusing coincidence for your Friday night. But don’t worry, Korean Feminism geeks—I’ve also got you covered!

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes. Image source: Aladin.

No, not that F-word—although these days, it’s just as taboo to say either. And no, I don’t quite know how Easy to Read Feminism: Who Says Feminism is Difficult (Background information for beginners to feminism) / 쉽게 읽는 페미니즘: 페미니즘 누가 어렵대 (패미니즘 입문자를 위한 배경지식서), by the BT Humanities Research Institute / 비티인문학 연구소 (2019), ended up on my phone screen exactly. Probably, watching Blue is the Warmest Colour (2013) the week before subliminally affected me somehow. But, however it got there, I couldn’t help but notice the age and sex breakdown of customers who had already bought the book, which seemed to mirror the gender gap underlying the interest—or antipathy towards—feminism among the wider Korean public.

Source: @HeejungChung

I too lament that gender gap, but also found the image amusing, so am sharing it for that reason.

I don’t really mean to imply anything more meaningful in it beyond that! Indeed, just a quick perusal of other Korean books on feminism I’ve recently bought, showed that that same buying pattern didn’t apply to those.

If that leaves you dissatisfied though, let me also take this opportunity to link to what I somehow found next: “A new variation of modern prejudice: young Korean men’s anti-feminism and male-victim ideology” by Han Wool Jung, in Volume 14-2023 of Frontiers in Psychology. Probably the most comprehensive, crucially open-access article I’ve ever encountered on the subject, it should keep you—and me!—occupied for several hours at least.

Enjoy!

Related Posts:

If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)

Transnational Sex Workers in Yokohama, and Migrant Integration and Multiculturalism in Korea—Today’s Must-See Zoom Presentations!

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes. Image by ArtHouse Studio @Pexels.

Apologies that this post comes so last-minute. I only just discovered I was free, and my policy with Zoom lectures is only to announce those I can attend myself. If I didn’t, this blog would be overwhelmed, turning into a lighter version of the Korean Studies Events Database!

(You should totally sign up for the Korean Studies Events Database.)

The first lecture, from 3:30–5:00 pm (all Korean time), is:

“Doing Ethnography in the Wake of the Displacement of Transnational Sex Workers in Yokohama: Sensuous Remembering” by Ayaka Yoshimize, author of a book of the same title. From the event page:

(Zoom participation: Pre-registration is not required. Please login with the Zoom Meeting ID: 923 4787 3527 and Passcode: KUMMC.)

This presentation reflects on the politics, poetics, and ethics of remembering the lives of migrant sex workers in a diasporic city of Yokohama, Japan. Drawing on her performative sensory ethnography, Yoshimizu will focus on the transnational space of mizushobai (water trade) in Yokohama’s historically marginalized neighbourhoods along the Ōoka River, where sexual services were performed by racialized migrant women. Since 2005 the city has sought to rebrand one of these neighbourhoods, Koganecho, evicting transnational migrant sex workers who had been integral to postindustrial development and erasing their past presence. Yoshimizu examines Yokohama’s dominant memoryscapes in the aftermath of displacement, examining the built environment, official historical narratives, films, and photographic works that obscure racialized migrants’ participation in the city’s place-making. She then seeks to create an alternative memoryscape based on her own fieldwork experience of becoming entangled with the local social relations, unexpectedly coming to perform social roles legible in the field, and, ultimately, having her relationship with the city refashioned anew. Yoshimizu writes the alternative memoryscape through the imagery of water in ways that are informed by the local usage and imaginations—the ocean, flowing rivers, swamps, humidity, alcohol, the fluidity of relationships, and transient lives. This talk will end by introducing her current multi-sited research on transpacific memories of karayuki-san in Yokohama, Nagasaki, and Western Canada.

Then immediately after, starting at 5pm:

“Current status and policy response to migrant integration and multiculturalism in Korea” by Prof. In-Jin Yoon” (Korea University)

Also from the event page (but please note the pre-registration link there is wrong; instead, go to https://uni-due.zoom.us/meeting/register/u50qdeCgqToqHtePLf6_S_NppjpA9Wk6vica#/registration):

The current status of migrant integration in Korea seems to be far from ideal. The human rights violations against migrants remain common in the workplace and everyday life. The public’s perception and attitudes toward migrants have changed from paternalism to apathy, and is deteriorating to the level of hatred toward certain groups. Korean adults’ multicultural acceptance increased from 2010 to 2015, but has continued to decline since then. The level of social integration of migrant workers and married immigrant women, which are representative groups of migrants in Korea, is not high in both material and psychological aspects. Migrant workers have a high employment rate, but they work long hours in low-skilled, low-wage work, are exposed to non-payment or delayed payment of wages and physical and verbal violence, and their labor rights are greatly restricted. They cannot bring their families, and their opportunities to acquire permanent residency and nationality are greatly limited, so they are not subject to social integration. Marriage migrant women tend to have low employment rates, employment stability, and income due to their low age and education level, ability to understand Korean language and culture, the large age and cultural gap with their husbands, and the burden of childbirth and childcare. They are also dependent on their husbands because they need their consent when applying for permanent residency and nationality. The language and culture of their home country are not respected and they are under strong pressure to assimilate into Korean culture.

See you there!

If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)

How “Cast Away” Helped Me Better Understand “The Girl with Seven Names” and Potential Survivorship Bias in North Korean Escapee Stories. No, Really.

Smart people tend to make more logical, more directly-related parallels and connections between the news and the pop culture they consume. So, my niche has to be providing the wilder and more bizarre ones instead.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes. Image sources: University of Minnesota Retirees Association and Amblin.

Last week, our Busan Book Club covered The Girl with Seven Names by Hyeonseo Lee (2014—The StoryGraph, LibraryThing, GoodReads). A tale of her escape from North to South Korea via a decade spent in China, and later her returning to the border to help her mother and brother also escape, generally we found it very informative and moving. But, we were also struck by her incredible naivety, and sheer luck. In particular, without her family’s high status within North Korea, and without being able to rely on wealthy connections and generous benefactors at the last moments, there would have been no story to tell at all.

The smart takeaway is how, by coincidence, those last two points dovetailed with one about North Korean representation made a few days later by my Donsgeo University colleague, B. R. Myers, as part of a presentation he gave at Seoul City Hall at the Seoul Forum on North Korean Human Rights 2024. From his blog, Sthele Press:

“….This brings me to the escapee issue. These days talk of the grim punishment awaiting repatriated escapees is often contradicted in the same breath by reference to how so-and-so just saved up enough money for a second escape. The sum needed just before the pandemic—if my sources are correct—was over $5000, and let’s face it, that’s more than the average American has in the bank, so I worry that if we continue to present these people as representative, we’ll be creating confusion about what living standards in North Korea are really like. I’m not downplaying the ordeals that they all go through, especially the women who are trafficked across the river, but it’s time, I believe, that we concentrated on the great mass of people inside North Korea.”

“That goes also for the issue of North Korean workers in China and Russia. If you spread the blame between three regimes, Kim gets off lightly. Just how bad are conditions at home, that people compete to get treated like slaves in foreign countries? I think that’s what we should focus on.”

Read the rest of Myers’s presentation there. While my own thoughts may seem flippant by comparison, especially given the gravity of those conditions in North Korea, that is absolutely not my intention. Rather, I feel they only help underline his point about representation all the more.

Specifically, reflecting on Lee’s incredible run of good luck while I was reading her book, I couldn’t help but constantly be immediately reminded of a free-talking activity I’ve been using for the last 20+ years with my ESL students, about what supplies to prioritize in the event of a plane crash in the Pacific Ocean. (I call it Cast Away after the 2000 movie, but these days most students have never heard of it.). Which I grant does indeed sound bizarre, but the connection is there:

You see, most students, and me too if I didn’t already know better, rank obvious things like the fishing line and hooks very highly. Only, as I think it was the US Coast Guard that explained things in the version I originally got this from, in fact both those and 12 other things on this list are completely useless.

The reason being, quite unlike in movies like Cast Away, where the main character quickly paddles to a deserted island to survive on, in most oceans 99 per cent of plane crash survivors simply wouldn’t. So, unless they were found within 2-3 days, they’d die of thirst and sun exposure.

Which generally doesn’t make for riveting viewing.

That means we only get movies about the 1 per cent that do make it to land instead. Leading my students to prioritize hooks, matches, and so on. Whereas really, the only genuinely useful things are the flare gun to help rescuers find you, and the bottles of water to give them an extra day or so to do so while you’re still capable of firing it:

(Let me know if you’d like a copy of my PPT, and the rationale behind the specific ranking).

Wisely, I spared the other book club members this huge segue in our meeting in the coffee shop. But, now that I’ve put pen to paper here, I am indeed intrigued at how this—unfortunately named—’survivorship bias‘ potentially colors narratives about North Korean and its escapees.

And also intrigued whether Lee is asked about her incredible luck in this 1.5 hour interview. I’ll let you know!

Related Posts:

If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)

Thinking Sociologically About Modern Korean Female Body Ideals

TIL that many simple, everyday things like monkey bars in playgrounds, and standing desks, were originally born out of eugenic concerns with white people’s postures.

What surprises might an examination of Korean “figure correction” services also provide?

Estimated reading time: 10 minutes.

Full disclosure—I’m not actually answering that question I pose. Or at least, not for now. Sorry. Instead, this meta post is about reveling in the asking. Then, passing on to you the mind-blowing BBC podcast episode about the “posture police” that helped me remind me of the value of that, plus a myriad of sources to help come to some answers. I’ll also give a shoutout to my favorite fashion history YouTuber.

But first, how I got to them, starting with the visceral unease I felt when I first saw the ad below. It was just too much, even by Korean standards. It simply begged commentary.

Or did it? What was there to say exactly?

I’m not at all against the “체형교정,” or “figure correction” services this clinic provides. Actually, I could do with a consultation for my back myself.

But that figurehead-like ‘after’ shot, the model’s impossibly high heels conveniently hidden? That however uncomfortable and painful that pose looks to hold for more than a moment, it’s still presented as an ideal?

I can’t help but be reminded of the “figure flaws” or “figure faults” that overseas corset manufacturers invented a century ago, to help keep their industry afloat.

For readers unfamiliar (long-term readers, please bear with me a moment), those manufacturers’ pseudo-scientific justifications for their ensuing schema for women’ bodies, developed only to disguise that their flaws were wholly invented, somehow became the accepted wisdom for how women viewed themselves. Which I saw uncanny parallels to in the Korean craze for inventing various “lines/라인” for women’s bodies 10-20 years ago. Then, it was

astonishing to see how brazenly companies would compete for their new, eponymous lines to sink into in the public consciousness. Venus lingerie claiming that women’s breasts were a “V-line” for instance, Yes lingerie that they were a “Y-line.”

Hanging over this trend was the inconvenient fact that most women neither needed nor wanted exciting new names for their body parts, which would invariably be found wanting compared to those photoshopped versions in the ads. Hence most lines, mercifully, were quickly forgotten. But some did indeed stick, a V-line neck becoming a standard offering by cosmetic surgeons today for instance, and just a few days ago my female students told me that their summer plans included working on their “bodylines.” In fact, in the 2020s, it seems just about everything to do with a woman’s body has become a generalized “line.”

But these subjects, I’ve already covered in depth. You could argue I’m merely projecting too, and overemphasizing mere semantic similarities.

Either way, I could have just tweeted the ad, and all those links.

For both you long-term and hopefully new, interested readers though, who I need to provide extra value to if I’m (very) belatedly going to transition this blog into a paying, subscriber-based newsletter, simply linking to stuff you’ve probably read before felt woefully insufficient.

But again, what to add though? An in-depth look at the growth of the figure-correction industry? Now ubiquitous, but which I’m not sure I’d even heard of 5 years ago? Interesting to learn more about, for sure, but probably lacking English sources. So, not really worth, as a busy divorced dad, the huge time investment I’d need to spend on all the translations.

“For liposuction and fat transplantation, Model-Line Clinic, Busan.”

Hence I sat on this post for a year, leaving it half-finished. And, frankly, dozens like it before and since, for the same reason that I didn’t feel I knew enough about the subject to add that value, so fresh research was needed first. All culminating in my recent hiatus.

Then finally, in just the last two weeks, they all suddenly starting making sense again.

Like all breakthroughs, this one is merely the culmination of a lot of hard work. Or rather, my reading of the hard work done by other people much smarter than me. Specifically, one trigger was my recently encountering the article “The Intimacy of Exercise: Sensuality and Sexuality in Black Women’s Fitness History” by Ava Purkiss at Nursing Clio, author of Fit Citizens: A History of Black Women’s Exercise from Post-Reconstruction to Postwar America (2023), which I couldn’t order fast enough. Instantly, it reminded of themes I’d previously read about in, to give just a small sample:

All of which I was too daunted by to even begin to parse here. But just thinking about them all together for the first time now, persuaded me to buy 운동하는 여자: 체육관에서 만난 페미니즘 / A Woman Who Exercises: Feminism Meets the Gymnasium by 양민영 / Lee Min-yeong. Which I’m finding surprisingly well-suited to my Korean level, and has already thrown me headfirst into an equally deep dive on the sexualization of Korean (female) basketball players’ uniforms, which I’ll link to here once I emerge.

Source: Aladin.

An 인증샷 and teaser for Korean speakers:

But to continue with the ‘small’ sample, “The Intimacy of Exercise” also reminded me of Militarized Modernity and Gendered Citizenship in South Korea by Seungsook Moon (2005) and 예쁜 여자 만들기 / Making Pretty Women by 이영아 / Lee Yeong-ah (2011) which I have discussed. The former, because it more provides essential socio-historical context and background than looks specifically at body image and beauty ideals per se, and the latter because it’s Korean, so normally I only, slowly, examine small sections at a time.

Then Moon’s book suddenly reminded me of Suk-Jung Han’s July 2005 Japan Focus article “Imitating the Colonizers: The Legacy of the Disciplining State from Manchukuo to South Korea,” one of two utterly essential for understanding Northeast Asia in the second half of the 20th Century, specifically South Korea’s national Jaegun citizens’ gymnastics (국민체조) from the 1960s. Which then reminded me of Taeyeon Kim’s 2003 Body and Society article “Neo-Confucian Body Techniques: Women’s Bodies in Korea’s Consumer Society,” because of @equalopportunityreader’s perceptive point below about Korean self-cultivation, and the endless drive—very much shared by myself—to improve one’s ‘specs.’ And, oh, what about that guy you ask? Don’t get me started on photo requirements for resumes, and the ensuing excessive, often alien-like photoshopping, absolutely enabling resigned acceptance of often literally impossible body image standards for women—and men.

Source: @equalopportunityreader.

More specifically, the breakthrough is my suddenly beginning to see the links between all of those. A grand narrative coalescing as it were, rather than feeling overwhelmed all the time. That maybe just through osmosis, I do know my shit. That I’m worth $2-$5 a month, if only I can put those thoughts into words on paper on a regular basis. And, crucially, stop with all the navel-gazing already!

On that note, may I first present the “The Politics of the Body,” the 16 June episode of the BBC 4 radio show and podcast Thinking Allowed, hosted by sociologist Laurie Taylor. The ultimate impetus for this post, his interview of Beth Linker, Associate Professor in the Social Sciences at the University of Pennsylvania, about her new book Slouch: Posture Panic in Modern America (2024), which I will happily throw money at once the paperback comes out, is a fascinating examination of aspects of everyday life we take for granted—which nicely dovetailed with my sense there was—is—something to be said about those figure correction ads.

Beth Linker’s full interview, from 1:45 to 16:50, I can’t possibly do justice to with my transcripts of brief sections. But hopefully they’ll suffice give a taste.

First, from 5:45-7:10:

Laurie Taylor:

“Then you actually get posture exams in the early 20th-Century, [they] became mainstays in the military, workplace, and schools…and there’s a thing called the ‘American Posture League,’ which was formed in 1914. Tell me about the League, and what beliefs it promoted.”

Beth Linker:

“Yes, the American Posture League was formed by Jessie Bankcroft, head of public schools in New York City…the first order of business was to standardize posture…they developed tools by which to measure posture…, so they used what’s called a schematograph—an overhead projector where you get posture tracings. Eventually they adopt camera technology. And they begin to use this technology in the military, in public schools, and universities to physically examine every person, and then, they develop grading systems for everybody’s posture. Standard grades then became A, B, C, D—D being the worst….and they also developed posture contests.”

Next, from 10:08-11:00:

Laurie Taylor:

“Slouching has been linked to an offensive discourse about so-called ‘primitive people,’ but you found out that the rise of eugenics in the early 20th-Century prompted scientists to worry that bad posture could lead to a backward slide in human progress. Tell me a little bit more about this development and about ‘race betterment’ projects.” (Source, right: Penn Arts & Sciences.)

Beth Linker:

“The white educated class, again, very much worried that, if they lacked physical fitness, that other non-white peoples would become stronger and overtake them and their better physical form. The end of that quote that you had you could hear good posture requires drill, which requires a certain kind of intellect and a will, which still puts white people as superior.”

And finally, from 16:02-16:45:

Beth Linker:

“…it was assumed that your outward appearance indicated inward ability and morality.”

Laurie Taylor:

“That’s not denying posture therapy can be a powerful tool when used to alleviate existing back pain. But…in a way, we’ve got to salvage that thought, haven’t we, from the rather long, troubled history of ‘posture panic.'”

Beth Linker:

“I am not opposed to, you know, standing desks…to anything that people do to improve their well-being. I am more trying to get us to think more critically about when we say to someone ‘Oh, you should stand up straight,” what do we mean by that, and what do we think that that’s going to improve?”

Sources: KoreanYouSay, CollectorsWeekly.

And finally for this post, let me take advantage of the opportunity to give a shoutout to my favorite fashion history YouTuber, SnappyDragon. Swayed by the image above that reigned supreme on the sidebar I had then, a year ago the model’s pose in the figure correction ad reminded me of the bustle, leading me to the following two videos of hers. For the second, I’ll wrap up this post by leaving you with several screenshots I took before I developed my colossal writer’s block—but again, I highly recommend watching both in full.

Enjoy!

From 16:10 in that second video:

Sound familiar?

Continuing, from earlier at 13:26:

And, last but not least, from 21:55:

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If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)

“Blue Is the Warmest Colour” (가장 따뜻한 색, 블루)—10th Anniversary Screening

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes.

Hello everyone!

Sorry for the long, unexpected hiatus.

Suffice to say, I was feeling a deep, stultifying sense of ennui leading up to this blog’s recent 17-year anniversary, frankly. In hindsight, I really needed a break.

But simply opening up this page and just writing is already doing wonders for getting that spark back. And if it happens to be posting about this film screening that enables this soft restart, with more regular and longer posts soon to follow, then I’ll gladly take advantage!

This announcement is not just a means to that end though!

If you’re reading this, you’re probably already familiar with Blue Is the Warmest Colour (2013, but released in 2014 in Korea). You’ll know it’s controversial, for reasons well covered by Manohla Dargis in a 2013 article in The New York Times (free registration required). You may have strong opinions of your own too, which I’d be very interested to hear.

Because while I’ve read so much about it these past 10 years, I haven’t actually watched it myself yet.

Okay, that’s not technically true. Yes, I am indeed a cishet male. I won’t insult your intelligence pretending I haven’t perused certain scenes on Netflix. But, unlike watching it on Netflix, with all the distractions of home, in the cinema I’ll be forced to watch it in its entirety for its full 3 hours. Giving me lots of time to judge its problematic elements for myself.

Which is why I’m so excited to watch it at Corner Theater / 모퉁이극장 here in Busan next week, as it’ll probably be my first and last opportunity.

And even without this particular screening, I must really give a shoutout to Corner Theater itself too. With its constant line-up of arthouse and classic films, for half the price of regular cinemas, an uncomplicated online booking process (no downloads!), and the staff showering you with free film posters, let’s just say it’s not just been ennui that’s been preventing me from writing these last few months!

Thoughts on the film? See you there? ;)

Source: @corner_theater.

If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)

New Books from Japan #6: “Women in Asia under the Japanese Empire,” Friday, May 31, 2024, 9:00-10:30 PM KST

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes. Photo by cottonbro studio @Pexels.

Sounds like another wild Friday night!

Tatsuya Kageki (Keio University) presenting the new book “Women in Asia Under the Japanese Empire” in conversation with Marnie Anderson (Smith College). Register for Zoom here: https://mjha.org/event-5684823

Presenter: 蔭木 達也 (Tatsuya Kageki, Keio University)

Discussant: Marnie Anderson (Smith College)

Contributors to this book provide an Asian women’s history from the perspective of gender analysis, assessing Japanese imperial policy and propaganda in its colonies and occupied territories and particularly its impact on women. Tackling topics including media, travel, migration, literature, and the perceptions of the empire by the colonized, the authors present an eclectic history, unified by the perspective of gender studies and the spatial and political lens of the Japanese Empire. They look at the lives of women in, Taiwan, Korea, Manchuria, Mainland China, Micronesia, and Okinawa, among others. These women were wives, mothers, writers, migrants, intellectuals and activists, and thus had a very broad range of views and experiences of Imperial Japan. Where women have tended in the past to be studied as objects of the imperial system, the contributors to this book study them as the subject of history, while also providing an outside-in perspective on the Japanese Empire by other Asians.

本書は、植民地と占領地における日本帝国の政策とプロパガンダ、特に女性への影響を評価し、ジェンダー分析の視点からアジアの女性史を提示する。メディア、旅行、移住、文学、被植民者による帝国に対する認識などのトピックを扱いながら、著者はジェンダー研究の視点と日本帝国の空間的・政治的レンズによって統一された折衷的な歴史を提示する。寄稿者たちは、台湾、朝鮮、満州、中国本土、ミクロネシア、沖縄などの女性の生き方を見ている。これらの女性たちは、妻であり、母であり、作家であり、移住者であり、知識人であり、活動家であったため、大日本帝国に対する非常に幅広い見方と経験を持っていた。これまで女性は帝国システムの対象として研究される傾向にあったが、本書の寄稿者たちは彼女たちを歴史の主体として研究し、同時に他のアジア人による大日本帝国へのアウトサイド・インな視点も提供している。

See you there! :D

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If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)

Single Korean Women are Being Scammed into Paying More to Feel Safe in Their Homes. You Don’t Have to be a ‘Feminist’ to Acknowledge That.

But if you do, there’s a real danger you might start thinking and acting like one…

Estimated reading time: 8 minutes. Photo (cropped) by Raka Miftah @Pexels.

So, I finally have the elevator pitch about what feminism is.

Pursuing equality of opportunity. For all sexes and sexual orientations.

It’s crude, but I think it’d do. In the moment, there’d probably be so little time to work with whoever might be asking, and so much hostility from some, that my priority would be getting them to acknowledge any inequality even exists at all.

First then, I’d broach that different sexes paying different prices for essentially the same product or service, or the same price for an inferior version of them, is obviously unfair.

(I wouldn’t waste any more time on anyone who couldn’t even concede that.)

I’d want to tread carefully next though. Maybe my inquirer wouldn’t know—or hadn’t deigned to know—that there are so many examples of this ‘pink tax’ out there, so named because it’s overwhelmingly women that suffer from them.

Here the old me, unsure about how to make that case in such a limited time, would probably jump the gun by explaining how just being angry about that discrimination, and wanting to do something about it, absolutely makes someone a feminist in his book.

The new me though, knows a case for that would need to actually be made first, and also how toxic that f-word is to so many people outside his circles—especially in Korea. So, he would confine himself to providing one or two quick examples, and consider that a solid achievement for two minutes. Surely it would be more effective to let his inquirer put two and two together themselves about them later, he’d reason, than beat them over the head with their obvious takeaways.

Photo by Andy Song on Unsplash.

Take these two handy recent Korean examples for instance, courtesy of an April 22, 2024 contribution to the “중앙로365” column in the Busan Ilbo by Byeon Jeong-hee, standing representative of the ‘Salim’ Women’s Human Rights Support Center (my emphasis). Both also happen to be about issues dear to my heart, for reasons I’ll explain in a moment:

얼마 전 부동산에도 ‘핑크택스(Pink Tax)’ 현상이 일어나고 있다는 기사를 읽었다. ‘여성 전용’ 원룸이나 ‘여성 안심 구역’에 위치한 부동산 매물의 월세나 보증금이 다른 매물에 비해 비싸게 책정되어 있다는 것이다. 부동산 정보 플랫폼에서 제공한 자료에 따르면 서울 주요 10개 대학 중 원룸 월세는 이화여자대학교가 월 71만 원으로 가장 비쌌는데, 대부분 여성 전용 원룸 밀집 지역이었다. 부산에서도 부산대 인근 여성 전용 원룸과 일반 원룸을 비교한 결과, 별도 보안 장치가 추가된 것이 아님에도 불구하고 여성 전용 원룸의 월세가 약 20만 원 비쌌다는 취재 결과가 있었다. 때문에 주로 여성들이 느끼는 범죄에 대한 두려움이나 안전에 대한 불안을 이용한 마케팅이자 핑크택스라는 지적이다.

“Not long ago, I read an article saying that the ‘Pink Tax’ phenomenon was occurring in real estate….The monthly rent or deposit for real estate properties located in ‘female-only’ studio apartments or ‘female-safe zones’ are set at a higher price compared to other properties. According to data provided by a real estate information platform, among the 10 major universities in Seoul, Ewha Womans University had the highest monthly rent at 710,000 won per month, and most of them were concentrated areas of studio apartments exclusively for women. In Busan, as a result of comparing women-only one-rooms and regular one-rooms near Pusan National University, the results showed that the monthly rent for women-only one-rooms was about 200,000 won more expensive even though there were no additional security devices. Therefore, it is pointed out that it is a marketing and pink tax that mainly exploits women’s fear of crime or anxiety about safety.”

This may come as a surprise. For a long time Korea has had a reputation as a safe country, and in many respects it still is—the homicide rate is extremely low by international standards. However, it has also long been one of the few places in the world where women are actually more likely to be murdered than men. And, since the 2016 murder of a woman in a public toilet in Gangnam especially, the perception that Korea is a safe country for women is, I suspect, one largely only felt by short-term visitors, relying on outdated, frequently sanitized (or naive) sources.

Instead, for women living in Korea in 2024: femicides by ex-boyfriends; dating violence; random attacks while hiking, while waiting for an elevator, or simply having short hair; and an increasing numbers of stalkers? All these contribute to a constant feeling of danger, that there is an epidemic of violence against women, and that “nowhere feels safe.”

Photo (cropped) by Matteo Catanese on Unsplash.

It’s no wonder then, that among all demographics, it’s women living alone who are most anxious about these developments, so are prepared to pay extra not to have to worry about them. Indeed, so anxious that their fears are now being exploited by landlords and realtors, as Byeon points out.

I do however, completely acknowledge that she is vague about her sources, and provides none of their data. Indeed, the ‘Salim’ Women’s Human Rights Support Center, which Byeon represents, is actually an anti-sex work organization, which makes me wary of potential hyperbole in her claims (this is my unfortunate experience with such organizations). So, I’ll endeavor to find those sources and data myself for a follow-up post.

Source: Remark Vill.

Mom, you’re bringing that up again?

I’m taking care of things myself now!

I can get lightbulbs changed if I need to, and the toilet unblocked too.

I don’t need to call Dad!

But I also acknowledge I don’t really have any doubts about their veracity, based on my deep dive into Remark Vill serviced apartments’ advertising campaign with then 32 year-old Im Se-mi in 2020 above. Because, although it first drew my attention through the cloying, traditional, initializing gender roles it portrayed (Could my interlocutor in the elevator seriously imagine a man being asked to say those things? Could anyone?), it also left me with a heavy sense of just how unsafe women felt even back then, the grim, more recent statistics in all those links above being just the tip of the iceberg of those I outlined in that earlier post.

Plus, in an equally deep follow-up the next year, I recounted what I learned from two must-read books about how adding safety features for women, real or otherwise, were often implemented entirely for financial reasons (giving the impression of gentrifying a neighborhood say), so frequently didn’t substantively improve women’s safety at all. Also, I learned how various Korean government policies often financially discriminate against single female households specifically.

No wonder Korean women are pissed.

But of course my new elevator friend and I would never get that far. And I’d want to save them the embarrassment too, of getting into knots arguing that Korea’s consistently terrible gender gap…is because of Korean women choosing to have babies. We’re only talking about how much money women may or may not have to spend on safety features compared to men, and why, I’d remind them, not how much money they may or may not have in the first place. And, instead of quibbling about either, we could surely agree that is very not cool that women have to pay extra for the privilege of safety men take for granted, let alone be scammed over it (I might want to avoid that scary ‘p-word’ though). We could then talk next about what men and women should do to remedy that. In other words, be feminists, although I wouldn’t want to say that word yet either—I wouldn’t want them to realize they’ve been tricked yet.

Or, we could just move onto the next example (my emphasis again):

우리나라에서는 2018년부터 이러한 핑크택스에 대한 문제 제기가 있었다. 한 유명 아웃도어 브랜드에서 여성용 패딩의 충전량이 남성용의 절반밖에 되지 않지만 같은 가격에 판매되고 있다거나, 유명 패션 온라인 스토어에서 뒷주머니와 밴딩 처리 등을 없앤 여성용 슬랙스가 남성용보다 비싸게 판매되어 논란이 일었다. 같은 가격의 옷임에도 여성용으로 출시된 옷은 주머니가 너무 작거나 옷의 마감 처리가 허술하게 되어 있다는 취재가 이어졌다. 미용실에서 머리 커트 가격이 성별에 따라 다르게 책정되어 있는 것도 꾸준히 지적되어 왔다. 한국소비자원 사이트에 따르면 서울 지역 여성 커트 1회 평균 가격은 2만 1308원으로 남성 1만 1692원에 비해 약 1.82배 비싼 것으로 나타났다.

“In Korea, issues regarding the pink tax have been raised since 2018. Controversy arose when a famous outdoor brand said that women’s padding had only half the amount of padding as men’s but was sold at the same price. And, at a famous fashion online store, women’s slacks with no back pockets or banding were sold more expensively than men’s. Even though the clothes were the same price, there were continued reports that the clothes released for women had too small pockets or poor finishing. It has also been consistently pointed out that haircut prices at beauty salons are set differently depending on gender. According to the Korea Consumer Agency website, the average price of one haircut for women in Seoul is 21,308 won, which is about 1.82 times more expensive than 11,692 won for men.”

Source: Newsis.

This last one is meaningful to me, because I recall hearing on the radio as a student in Auckland, New Zealand in the late-1990s, that hairdressers were complaining about having to charge the same prices for men and women. Which made complete sense to me then—women tended to have longer hair, and so took more time.

I’d stress this first. That this opinion was reasonable, based on the information I had available at the time. That it wasn’t stupid at all, and that I’m not about to judge someone for having an opinion that I once did.

(Only now, in my 40s, have I finally learnt it’s easier to persuade people by praising their intelligence and common sense first rather than by implying they have neither. Who’d have thought??)

Only then would I explain that when I actually asked women about haircuts much later though (another secret way to trick people into becoming feminists, I hear), did I realize how unfair differential pricing would be to them. Because have women ever really been completely “free” to get short hair cuts, and men long ones? How about right now then, after an attack on a woman in Jinju in November 2023, targeted because her short hairstyle made her look like a feminist to her attacker?

Perhaps that could lead to a discussion about everything else appearance-wise women are expected or required to spend their time and money on?

Perhaps. But the new me knows when to end when the going’s good ;)

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If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)

Some Smart, Sophisticated Events for Smart, Sophisticated Busanites (And Me Too!)

Busan is GOOD! 부산이라 좋다!

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes. Source: iamcacophony.

Sorry that I’ve been so neglectful and absent these past few weeks.

One excuse is just being very busy settling into the new semester.

The other is that I seem to be just inundated with interesting events to attend and people to meet these days.

For reasons, this is a very novel experience for me. So, lets just say the abstract concept of declining invitations, because it turns out I do still need to write, pay the bills, and sleep, has been slow to sink in.

Forced to be very selective from now on then, here are five events in Busan this month I’d still absolutely attend if I could. Unfortunately I’ll only manage three though, because two clash, and another is being held somewhere I already go to very often. For that one, I’m going to be a gentleman and leave a spot open for you instead!

First up, just yesterday I discovered Cacophony, the very sensual performer in the opening image (homepage, YouTube, Instagram), who’s having a concert on Friday the 26th at Ovantgarde, in the Kyungsung University–Pukyong National University neighborhood. Still very much in the totally smitten and infatuated phase, I’ve only just begun processing her work frankly, and haven’t seen anything about her in English yet sorry. But, based just on that MV alone, I had no hesitation in dropping 30,000 won on a prepaid ticket!

Next, at the Art Lee Chae Gallery Cafe, located between exits 2 & 4 of my old neighborhood of Namcheon subway station (one stop over from Ovantgarde), local artist Jemma Pallett is currently holding an exhibition of her work until April 23. Open from 9am to 6:30pm every day, Jemma herself will be there to meet and talk about her paintings on Wednesday the 10th and 17th from 11 to 11:30am. (I’ll attend at least one of those sessions.)

Next, this Saturday, April 13 from 2-4pm, Union Station, in collaboration with Tell Me Busan, is having a traditional Korean alcohol tasting event. Union Station, one of my favorite places in Busan, is a recently opened makgeolli bar in Millak-dong, just an easy 5 minute walk from the North/top/far end of Gwangalli beach. Perfect for a quiet, intimate, and easily accessible alternative to the crowded restaurants and and bars on the beach, it’s owned and operated by the incredibly smart and sophisticated Michelle Lee, who has a PhD in Psychology in addition to brewing her own makgeolli. In other words, the perfect host!

Honestly, I don’t even particularly like makgeolli. Despite that, I will happily drink hers, and those she suggests—it’s that good a place (her anju are great too).

Alas, I won’t be attending this particular event sorry. Partially, because I already attend the Busan Chess Club there once a week, and partially because I already drag friends and dates there on top of that. (To the bar I mean—not to the chess club.) But mainly, because of a clash:

Hosted by one of my other favorite places in Busan, Naughty Muse Studios in Songjeong Beach, which is owned and operated by the incredibly smart and sophisticated Anna Bodorenko (yes, I’m beginning to notice a certain theme too), I can not stress just how much amazing art is continually going on there, what a creative community is centered around it, and how many talented people I’ve met through Anna. While I sadly had to give up on attending classes there myself, never being able to find the time to work on my skills in between sessions, I still try to attend as many events there as I can (especially the movie nights):

Finally, great minds thinking alike, Michelle from Union Station and Anna from Naughty Muse Studios are collaborating on a combined watercolor painting and makgeolli-tasting event at the former, at 7pm on Friday April 19. Only just finishing work about then and already spending too much time at Union Station though, this is the event I’ll step aside from for the sake of any interested readers securing a spot. Not at all because I used to win prizes for my sketches as a teenager, only to completely ruin them whenever I tried to combine them with watercolor painting…

If you can make any of these events, then Yay! And please say hi!^^

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If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)

WEBINAR—International Women’s Day Event: A Conversation with “Convenience Store Woman” Author Murata Sayaka, Monday 18 March, 5pm KST

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes.

From the event website:

To celebrate International Women’s Day this March, Tokyo College’s “Gender, Sexuality & Identity” collaborative research group will host a special webinar event with MURATA Sayaka, author and winner of the 155th Akutagawa Prize for her novel Convenience Store Woman (2016). Through discussing Murata’s writing, experiences, and inspirations, the event hopes to generate reflection on society’s gender and sexuality “norms” and how they shape our world.

Please register there.

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If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)

Webinar: “What is ethical p*rn and what are its boundaries?” 11pm, Thursday March 14 KST

A conversation with Erotic Film Director Erika Lust, Performer & Intimacy Coordinator Maria Riot, and Sex Health Educator Tessy Vanderhaeghe.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes. “Heldischer Tanz” performed by the Gisa Geert Group. Photo by Dora Kallmus (aka Madam D’Ora), Vienna 1924. “Heldischer Tanz” translates as “more heroic dance.” Source: un regard oblique.

Hey, I totally get why many women and feminists are vehemently opposed to pornography.

If my only exposure to it were mainstream sites like Pornhub, then I would be too. In fact, I’m just as disgusted and horrified as any ‘feminazi’ by the lessons about sex and body image the industry provides, and by its treatment of its workers. Cishet men’s tastes being just as diverse as any other demographic’s too, then I’m not even turned on by most of the content out there either, despite almost all of it supposedly being specifically tailored towards my male gaze.

But.

I also firmly believe that whatever the medium, most human beings will always be drawn to erotic imagery and depictions of sex between consenting adults. That because of that instinctive urge, it would be unrealistic and incredibly naive to ban it. That we shouldn’t ban it anyway, because it’s a good thing. And, in particular, that most if not all of opponents’ problems with it would be solved by actors being paid adequately (i.e., it shouldn’t be free), by intimacy coordinators being required by law, and by concerted efforts to appeal to all sexualities and body types.

In other words, “feminist pornography.” Which very much does exist, and is absolutely not the joke it’s often made out to be.

So much so, that I’ve actually been subscribing to one such site for several years. Make even more jokes about that if you want, but yeah—it really is one hell of a turn-on knowing that the performers are making a decent living, are genuinely enjoying their work, that my financial support goes towards films with a much wider range of body types and sexualities than just those that appeal to me personally, and that they’re all designed for a female partner’s enjoyment just as much as my own.

I know, right? How embarrassing! How could I ever live it down if this peccadillo of mine got out?

Or indeed, that feminist films are still a turn-on even though they tend to be designed much more for women actually? Especially if they’re by or on a site produced or operated by Erika Lust, whose webinar on Thursday night I’ll leave you with the details of now:

Via the eventbrite page:

Dive into the world of ethical p*rnography with acclaimed adult filmmaker Erika Lust, performer and intimacy coordinator Maria Riot, and sexual health educator Tessy Vanderhaeghe! Join us for an insightful online webinar as we explore the complexities of this genre alongside the release of Erika’s groundbreaking new film, “Kazumi’s Party.”

In celebration of Erika’s 20th anniversary in the industry, this webinar aims to explore the evolution and future trajectory of this genre of adult film and how the boundaries of ethical p*rnography are changing and evolving.

Our speakers will explore the central question: “What is ethical p*rn and where are the boundaries?”, while addressing topics suh as the empowerment of women through the adult cinema.

Join us for a 40-minute discussion followed by a 20-minute Q&A session, where you can engage directly with our speakers. Register now to secure your spot and be part of this thought-provoking conversation!

If you can’t make the webinar, please consider watching her (age-restricted) TED Talk from last year instead.

Ultimately, through efforts like hers, and public support, my hope is that one day there won’t any need to add the prefix “feminist” before “pornography” anymore, just like it already feels so awkward and completely unnecessary to use “female” before “doctor” say.

Or maybe I too am being naive and unrealistic?

“The reaction to having a woman in a condom ad is exactly why we need women in condom ads.”

Either way, supporting that cause with (what is now) US$119.40 on a yearly subscription seems a small price to find out. But, if you think that money is actually harming women, then please do read some more about Erika Lust, peruse some of her work, and let me know why. I mean that genuinely. While, not going to lie, I’m still very skeptical that anyone will be able to come up with any legitimate criticisms, I’m also on an explicit mission to respectfully consider alternative viewpoints in 2024, so I look forward to hearing yours. Cheers!

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If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)

Happy International Women’s Day, Powergirls! We Can Do It! “세계 여성의 날 잘보내! 우리는 할수 있다!”

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes.

A rare wholesome greetings card I found for my daughters when they were little. I’ve kept some spare copies ever since.

It reads: “Like a powergirl, always be confident! Spread/Brace your shoulders, be strong/cheer up! Yay!”

Sadly for you, I’m not about to give up those precious spares any time soon—they’re reserved for any granddaughters I might have one day. But it is still possible to grab a print of “우리는 할수 있다!” by cartoonist Jen Lee, the first Korean version of the We Can Do It! poster. Rest assured, my framed copy always gets a lot of attention from my cats at my sophisticated cocktail parties!

So again, Happy International Women’s Day, Powergirls! We/You Can Do It!

And (cough) Happy Birthday to me too!

If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)

Maverick Film Reviewer Confirms all my Biases about the Orientalism in Past Lives (2023). Is He Right?

“There’s a word in Korean—inyeon (인연). It means providence, or fate.” Well so what?

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes. Image source: Naver.

To be clear, I haven’t actually seen Past Lives yet. In most of the world, everyone was able to watch it last summer; in Korea, it’s only finally coming out this March. But that opening line in the trailer is a huge red flag:

I realize I’m completely projecting, my title necessarily provocative. It’s just one line, devoid of context. I don’t know if its Orientalist undertone is the exception, or if it suffuses the whole film. But ugh.

Because why say something like that at all, if not to then stress some fundamental difference between the English and Korean concepts? It already feels like right up there with gatekeeping, essentializing discussions of how han, or jeong, or nunchi are timeless, immutable, untranslatable qualities that define all Koreans, which Westerners just could never fully understand:

Source left: Absolutely not going to give this book any traffic. Source right: @RachelMinhee.
Source: Stolen from a Korean Facebook friend.

And definitely make sure to read about how the concept of “saving face” is a complete Western invention, and Minsoo Kang’s “The problem with ‘han’ 한 恨” article at Aeon:

Some people insist that han is a uniquely Korean idea that only Koreans can truly grasp. Yet it is about as useful at explaining everything Korean as the term ‘rugged individualism’ is at explaining everything American or the ‘Samurai’ is in capturing all that is Japanese. It is true that all the calamities and traumas of the modern era have provided Koreans with a great well of powerful emotional experiences from which to draw. But intense emotionality is hardly unique to Korean narratives, and the notion of a specific kind of sorrow/regret/frustration/rage that only Koreans can feel is absurd.

Despite the film’s almost universal acclaim then, and smart overseas friends’ glowing reviews, I was already feeling ambivalent about eventually watching it. I have to admit I’m just a natural contrarian too, especially when it comes to Korean and Korea-related films. Not at all because I think I know better than everyone somehow, but because it seems the more people that sing their praises, the more likely those films are to tick various boxes that turn me off. And, once I do voice any negativity, that my friends will become completely insufferable too, writing me off as a plebeian rather than admit their latest bestest film ever might be anything less than perfect.

Elaine knows exactly what I mean:

So, not going to lie, I felt vindicated over the winter as more and more Asian-American friends in particular also expressed their misgivings about the film. Then, finally, one linked to maverick Ian Wang‘s provocatively-titled “The Critics Are Wrong About ‘Past Lives” at ArtReview, its introduction alone confirming all my suspicions:

You’re watching a contemporary drama about East Asians who’ve immigrated to the West. The narrative can vary, but often depicts a conflict between an older first generation (stern, repressed) and a younger second generation (independent, rebellious). Its characters are honourable and decent. Despite their disagreements, you get the sense that the film doesn’t want you to think any of them have done anything wrong. In fact, they can feel less like real people and more like proxies for certain ‘types’: the tiger mother, the Westernised child. Peppered throughout are glib ethnic signifiers: lingering shots of kimchi-jjigae or jiaozi, a hackneyed reference to not wearing shoes in the house. You can feel the director ticking off boxes as they go, soliciting high relatability with low effort. It is a polite, earnest film, one that will surely receive awards attention. And yet you can’t help but walk away feeling dissatisfied – this was sold to you as a complex, nuanced story about immigration, so why does its view of immigrant life feel so shallow?

I’m tempted to say I rest my case. But on the contrary—unlike most of my film snob, probably soon to be ex-friends, I’m not going to dismiss anyone’s continued love for this film as some irredeemable intellectual failing on their part. So, whether you want to send me a rant or a rave, thanks in advance to those of you who have seen the film and who do take the time to share their thoughts on Yang’s critique. For who knows? I’m already inclined to see the film anyway, just to make up my own mind about it—and being able to debate you afterwards may be all the final persuasion I need!

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If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)

Why Feminism? Because Stalking Victims Need Protection, the Gender Pension Gap Needs Fixing, and Enough Jokes Already About Big Boobs?

Well, yes. Those would be a pretty decent start towards explaining why actually.

Here’s why I’m deliberately developing a ‘feminist toolkit,’ and seeking out short talking points like these to add to it.

Estimated reading time: 9 minutes. Photo by Cristine Enero on Unsplash.

A few years ago, at a department dinner at my university, a coworker asked me what feminism was, and why it was even needed.

Honestly, I was just too stunned to answer.

Not because I didn’t have an answer. I’m used to giving catchy one-liners to curious teens, or trading barbs with men’s rights activists who are really just sealioning.

But because he was genuinely asking.

Once I realized that, I was just at a loss. I just could not understand why someone in their late-50s, and so well-educated, would need to at all.

Stammering to come up with any sort of reply at all then, I was saved by our meals arriving, our conversation mutually forgotten. Still, later I regretted how a real opportunity for education had been missed. As someone who proudly mentions the f-word in their elevator pitch (no, not that f-word!), expressly wanting people to ask me more about it, I really should have had some responses already prepared for that kind of encounter.

So, I remembered our conversation again last summer while casually listening to a random episode of the BBC Woman’s Hour podcast, realizing any one of its short segments on those title topics would have sufficed to start explaining “why.” Ever since, I’ve been mentally storing and seeking out these and many anecdotes, factoids, and stories like them, every day finding both more of a need for them and more of a responsibility to use them.

The need is because I’ve been really putting myself out there professionally, socially, and romantically in the past two years. Mostly, I’ve been loving it. But this sort of thing keeps happening:

In his work in the city Sammy found himself among Republicans for the first time in his life. Nothing in his background or higher education had conditioned him to expect that anyone but a bandit, sociopath, or ignoramus would ever want to be a Republican. But these coworkers weren’t ignorant, and they were not bandits or sociopaths.

Chapter 8, “Time,” in Closing Time by Jospeh Heller (1994)

The responsibility is because, as mentioned in my last post, the Korean manosphere, for one, has a very real and growing influence. Ignoring them, dismissing them, writing blogposts that they won’t read, aren’t exactly helping to counter that. Rather, a political gender divide continues to grow globally, and is especially wide in Korea.

I also feel a responsibility because I recently listened to a (2017) podcast episode about conservative intellectuals by The Point Magazine, in which co-editor Jon Baskin stresses the need for engagement:

“…where[as] on the left, they think these aren’t real ideas, they’re so obviously ridiculous that no-one can even believe them…they must just be there to bale power, you know, power dynamics or privilege. And you know, I think we take it as…besides just a matter of sort of honesty, intellectual honesty, we take it as a matter of political responsibility to try and actually meet these ideas. It seems to me the more politically responsible thing to do is to actually meet these ideas which obviously are convincing to many people, and take them as arguments and treat them as such.”

(From 6:50.)

And I feel even more of a responsibility because I’ve mingled and networked enough that I’ve reached a tipping point. That now, I don’t just abstractly know, but also feel in my gut and see right in front of my eyes how my wide range of privileges—male, cishet, White, native English-speaking, middle-aged—work to ensure I’m more likely to be listened to. And, crucially, much more likely to be listened to over a drink in a bar, with someone with shared interested or some other connection, than randomly read by them.

No, it’s not like I’m going to take advantage to proselytize at every cocktail party I’m invited to. Nor be taken advantage of by people who had no intention of listening. But when opportunities for genuine dialog are offered, how to make the most of them?

“Okay, but this 2023 study of Norwegians found no sexual double-standards for long-term relationships.”
“…”
“And that Insta had links to 4 more studies that came to similar conclusions.”
“Interesting. I’ll have to read them. But although there’s absolutely no excuse for anyone slut-shaming anyone, you know there used to be legit evolutionary reasons for both men and especially women to want to restrain female promiscuity, right? And, just got to say, Korean women are still too scared to go to gynecologists for vital health checks for fear being labelled sexually active. And in 20+ years, there’s only been a handful of ads in Korea that portray women as sexually assertive too. And looking for those is kinda my thing. So, yeah, for sure, I will read those studies, I swear. But not going to lie, I’m already a little dubious about their methodology and results.
“Huh, I guess you have you have a point about the gynecologists. I walked into a skincare clinic once, and ended up in a gyno hidden inside instead, and got kicked out. Crazy!”
“I know, right? Hey, cool jacket by the way. Where’d you get it?”
Woman texting friend on her phone: “WTF did I just listen to???”
(Hey, I can dream.) Photo by Antenna on Unsplash.

Well, you know how one of the first pieces of advice about networking is to keep introductions and pitches short and to the point? To prepare for meeting lots of people, to have a maximum 10-second spiel prepared that says who you are, what you do, and what makes you worth remembering? It’s all about just extending that skill really.

(And intersects with improving my writing skills too. You may scoff, but you should see what I cut these days!)

So, I’m taking notes from good communicators I know on social media, especially those who make reels. Off the top of my head, here’s some of those who post (mostly) sexuality, feminism, and/or Korea-related content specifically, whose insights I very much rely on to be able to write about those subjects at all here:

Professor Neil — Excellent at responding to the sort of ‘self-evident’ truths about women and so on presented by the manosphere, and quickly ripping them to shreds.

Will Hitchins — Like Professor Neil, but funnier and in Australian ;)

Jae-Ha Kim 김재하As well as her must-read commentary on Korean social issues on Twitter, she has such biting critiques of sexism in Korean pop-culture, and recommendations of what dramas do well, that you can’t not follow her. Make sure to subscribe to her Substack newsletter especially.

CedarBough Saeji — I’m very biased because “The K-pop Prof” is a personal friend, lives 5 minutes away, and is the only one in this list I’ve met personally, but still: it’s an objective fact that much of what I say above Jae-Ha Kim, I could also say of CedarBough. Alas, her focus is more on music and K-pop, and her academic writing leaves little time for a Substack ㅠㅠ

Macken Murphy —“Macken Murphy is able to condense vast chunks of information into engaging and digestible episodes.” (The New York Times) Focusing on dating advice, attractiveness, and relationships through an evolutionary perspective, ironically Murphy first came to my attention through his poor communication skills though, my jaw dropping during an episode of the Sisyphus 55 podcast at how eerily similar his speaking style was to my own, and realizing just how convoluted I can sound. But he’s vastly improved since then, making him a perfect role model for me personally. And he’s especially good at shutting down the incels etc. that unfortunately gravitate towards science-based speakers like himself, who selectively go through their work to find supposed rational, ‘scientific’ justifications for their misogyny.

Follow the River North, formerly based in Korea at I’m no Picasso — E. the baker in rural Texas may be very surprised to be included here. But feminism suffuses whatever she writes, and, just in case she doesn’t already know, I also consider her to be one of the most frugal and direct yet also most moving writers I’ve ever encountered—whatever she writes about, she always packs a punch. If you haven’t already, again make sure you all subscribe to her SubStack newsletter.

Alexander — Description: “MSc Cognitive and Behavioral Neuroscience. Research interests in attractiveness & dating. YT – alex.datepsych.” Pinned post: “Redpillers and blackpillers seething as some of their golden cows get knocked down with data. Had a very good interview with Connor Tomlinson here.” Enough said.

Ibagua Kihanovief — In my own words, discovered through her “handy riposte to anyone who claims that feminism is unnecessary in Korea,” whom I’ve already sung the praises of here. All of her work is in Korean, but she often includes English translations.

Professor Michael Flood “Researcher on men, masculinities, gender, and violence prevention. Educator and advocate. Tweets my own. I strive for content-rich and evidence-based tweeting,” and great at respectfully responding to, interacting with, and ultimately shutting down the sorts of people and opinions I’m increasingly encountering myself.

thetinmen — “”Widening perspectives around men. Uncomfortable conversations and ugly truths; the unpopular other half of gender equality, and men’s mental health.” The old me would hesitate to include them, as most of what they post I disagree with. But like Sammy said in Closing Time, they’re really not all the “bandits, sociopaths, or ignoramuses” you might expect. And while I think many of their messages are indeed ultimately flawed, they aren’t easily dismissed, and are well-presented and put together.

Brazenly learning tips and tricks from them to win alt-right friends and influence incels may sound a little calculating, especially if said alt-right friends and incels read this later, but to me it’s still fundamentally all about just learning communication skills. And besides which, strategizing and weaponizing those skills is what the alt-right already does:

And after all that, here finally are the descriptions and times of those segments of that BBC Woman’s Hour episode. Sorry not sorry that just posting a link seemed seemed insufficient, and I hope you and your future conversation partner likewise get inspired and talking by them, wherever you are on the political spectrum. Enjoy!

From 1:20-19:25:

“A woman who was stalked by her husband and then placed into witness protection with a new identity to escape him, says she feels like she’s the one being punished. She’s complained to the police about the way her case was handled after being told she failed an assessment and was no longer being supported by them in her new life. She spoke to our reporter Melanie Abbott, and says she felt completely cut adrift. We hear her story of how she had to uproot her two children and start a new life with a new job in a new town, while her husband is free to live wherever he likes. Academic Rachael Wheatley from the university of Derby tells Anita how she is training police to be better at dealing with stalkers and how victims need better support.”

From 19:25-29:35:

“A new report by the Trade Union Congress has highlighted a gender pension gap between what men and women are living on in retirement. The estimate it’s currently running at 40.5%, which is more than double the current gender pay gap. Nuala talks to Nikki Pound from the TUC and financial expert Sarah Pennells Consumer finance specialist at Royal London – pensions insurance provider about the issues facing women and possible solutions.”

And from 35:15 to 45:50:

“Writer and Podcaster Jackie Adedeji speaks to Nuala about her new Channel 4 documentary UNTOLD: My Big Boobs, a look into the impacts of having big boobs and the rise in breast reduction surgery. Sarah Ditum also joins to discuss the cultural trends of breasts through the years.”

(Alas, the linked video can’t be watched in Korea. Sigh. But for a change, it’s not the Korean government’s fault—the video is only available in the UK.)

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If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)

Manufacturing Outrage Against Korean Feminists: Could it GET any more obvious?

“It was there for literally 0.1 seconds! And drawn by a guy! And…and…WHY THE HELL DO YOU FEEL SO THREATENED BY IT ANYWAY??”

Estimated reading time: 12 minutes. Photo by Timur Weber @Pexels.

It’s always heartwarming when a columnist literally calls bullshit on the Korean manosphere.

For that sass alone, in a moment I’ll gladly pass on to you my full translation of Hankyoreh Gender Team Leader Jang Su-gyeong’s accusation, written in December 2023 about the MapleStory controversy of the previous month.

But for all her flair, I think it was a little misdirected.

“I am very interested and concerned about hatred and discrimination, which hang as prevalent and thick in Korean society as air.”

Basically, she criticizes the controversy for being only the latest example of the ‘feminist check’ tactic the Korean manosphere engages in these days. Whereby they: go bananas over any alleged instance of a small penis finger gesture; dig deep to find evidence that those responsible have even the slightest of feminist leanings; then shrilly demand the company responsible fire them and remove the offending gesture.

This is more pernicious and impactful than it may sound to outside observers. Emboldened by the term “feminism/페미니즘/女性主義” more accurately meaning radical feminism in Korean, to most men and women alike, virtually anyone even only indirectly advocating for sexual equality can get tarred with that brush. And when that happens, say, for wearing t-shirts incels don’t like, companies are only too eager to throw those real or alleged “femis/페미” under the bus, all for the sake of appeasing the manosphere.

Source: John Marcotte.

So I share her ire, and don’t want to get too hung up on semantics. It’s just that, precisely because the manosphere can be so loud and proud about what they doing, why they’re doing it, and who they’re hurting, with absolutely no subterfuge necessary, perhaps “bullshitting” isn’t the best way to describe the process.

Or, perhaps I only say that with the benefit of hindsight.

Because as if to prove her point, an even more bullshit controversy, over nonexistent government plans to switch the genders of emergency exit signs, is emerging as I type this a month later.

As you’ll see after her column, it’s a much more blatant example of what she describes. Especially when you contrast it with a real example, which there was a clear need for, made nationwide to the caregiver figures in subway escalator signs in the late-2000s. And which, to the best of my knowledge, did not result in any harm to anyone’s sense of manhood—no matter how deeply the Korean manosphere seems to feel threatened if the same ‘concessions’ were made today.

Left: the offending gesture, which is visible for precisely 0.1 second. Full screenshot source: 원정상 @YouTube. (For the record, I just thought it was too good a screenshot not to steal—I don’t know the YouTuber’s stance on the controversy.)

너 페미니? Are You a Femi?

장수경/Jang Su-gyeong, 2023-12-17 (flying710@hani.co.kr/@jsggija)

“너는 페미니스트야?”

“Are you a feminist?”

몇달 전 대학 때 친하게 지낸 남자 동기를 만나 들은 질문이다. 질문을 받은 뒤 처음 느낀 감정은 당황스러움이었다. 그동안 받아본 적 없는 질문이었기 때문이다. 페미니스트냐 아니냐를 따지는 게 무의미할 정도로, 나는 스스로 페미니스트가 아니라는 생각을 해본 적이 없던 터였다.

This is a question I was asked a few months ago, when I met a male classmate with whom I was close to in university. My first reaction was embarrassment. Because it was a question I’d never been asked before. I’d never thought of myself as *not* a feminist, to the point where it was meaningless to consider whether I was one or not.

“나는 페미니스트지.”

“Yea, I am a feminist.”

“왜 너 자신을 그렇게 규정해? 네가 생각하는 페미니즘이 뭐야?”

“Why do you define yourself like that? What do you think feminism is?”

“여성과 남성은 동등하고, 성별에서 오는 각종 차별을 없애야 한다는 거지.”

“I think it means women and men are equal, and so all kinds of sexual discrimination must be eliminated.”

“그건 인권 차원에서 당연한 거 아니야?”

“Isn’t that only natural from just from a human rights perspective though [So a feminist one isn’t necessary]?”

친구는 페미니즘의 방향에는 동의하면서도 페미니스트에 대해서는 부정적 생각을 가진 듯했다. 친구는 내게 “너의 정체성을 어느 하나로 규정하지 않길 바란다” “역차별당하고 있다고 주장하는 2030 남성들의 이야기도 귀담아들어달라”는 말을 남겼다.

Although my friend agreed with the general direction of feminism, he seemed to harbor negative thoughts about feminists themselves. He continued, “I hope you don’t define your identity as just this one thing,” and “Please listen to the stories of men in their 20s and 30s who claim they are being reverse discriminated.”

최근 게임 업계에서 일하는 여성 작가들을 향해 잇따르고 있는 ‘페미니즘 사상 검증’ 사태를 지켜보면서 당시 대화를 떠올린 건, 페미니스트를 옥죄는 사회 분위기가 전방위적이라는 생각 때문이었다. 친구의 질문 의도가 ‘사상 검증’일 것이라곤 생각하지 않는다. 다만, 이런 질문이 나와 동등한 위치에 선 사람의 ‘순수한 궁금증’에서 비롯된 것이 아니라 누군가를 검열하고, 억누르고, 일자리를 겨냥하고 있다면 말은 달라진다.

While watching the recent ‘feminist check’ [lit., ‘verification of feminist ideology’] that has been taking place against female writers working in the game industry, I remembered the conversation at that time because I thought that the social atmosphere that oppresses feminists is omnipresent. I don’t think the intention of my friend’s question [was malicious], to confirm that I was a feminist [and then target me on that basis]. However, if these questions do not arise from a place of genuine curiosity [and willingness to engage in dialogue] expressed by a person standing on equal footing with me, but instead is a form of sealioning aimed at censoring, suppressing, or targeting someone’s job, the story is different.

지난달 말 남초 사이트와 게임 업체 넥슨이 한 행동은 전형적인 ‘사상 검증’이었다. 남초 커뮤니티는 넥슨의 게임 ‘메이플스토리’ 홍보 영상에 등장하는 캐릭터의 손가락 모양을 두고 ‘남성 혐오’라고 주장했다. 근거는 빈약했다. 해당 영상을 작업한 하청 업체의 한 여성 직원이 자신의 사회관계망서비스 계정에 올린 페미니즘 옹호 발언이 전부였다. 전형적인 확증 편향이었지만 넥슨은 별다른 사실관계 확인 없이 해당 영상을 비공개하고 업체 쪽에 법적 대응을 예고했다.

At the end of last month, the actions taken by the manosphere sites and forums, and then the game company Nexon’s responses, were a typical example of the feminist check process. The manosphere claimed that the shape of the finger of the character appearing in the promotional video for Nexon’s game *MapleStory* was ‘man-hating.’ But the evidence was actually quite weak. A female employee of the subcontractor who worked on the video uploaded it to her social networking service account, and all she said was her defense of feminism. It was a typical confirmation bias, but Nexon made the video private without verifying the facts and announced legal action against the subcontractor she worked for?

이후 해당 작업물을 그린 이는 40대 남성 애니메이터라는 사실이 보도됐다. 주장의 근거가 사라졌으니, 남초 커뮤니티가 사과했을까. 아니다. 애초 사실 여부는 중요하지 않다는 듯, ‘언론의 보도가 거짓’이라거나 ‘남페미는 문제가 아니냐’며 방향을 틀었다. 그사이 해당 여성 직원은 개인 신상 정보가 털리고 온갖 욕설을 듣는 등 사이버불링을 당했다.

However, it was later reported that the person who drew the work was actually a male animator in his 40s. Now that the basis for the claim has disappeared, did the manosphere apologize? Not at all. In the first place, it seemed as if it didn’t matter whether it was true or not. And then they changed direction by saying, “The media’s reports were false,” or “Aren’t male feminists the real problem here?” Meanwhile, the female employee suffered cyberbullying, including having her personal information stolen and receiving all kinds of abusive language.

퓰리처상을 받은 영국의 저널리스트 제임스 볼은 책 ‘개소리는 어떻게 세상을 정복했는가’에서 ‘진실이든 거짓이든 신경 쓰지 않는 사람들이 만들어내는 그럴싸한 허구의 담론’을 ‘개소리’(bullshit)라고 말했다. 개소리꾼의 개소리는 거짓말과 달리 자신이 원하는 결과를 얻기 위해 최소한의 진실조차 중요하지 않기에 거짓말보다 해롭고, 팩트로 대응해도 힘을 잃지 않는다고 했다.

In his book Post-Truth: How Bullshit Conquered the World (2021), Pulitzer Prize-winning British journalist James Ball said that ‘bullshit’ is “a specious fictional discourse created by people who do not care whether it is true or false.” He said that unlike lies, this, the most bullshit of bullshits, is more harmful than lies because even the minimum amount of truth is not important to achieve the results one wants, and it does not lose its power even if it is responded to with facts.

“업장에서 왜 사회운동을 하냐”(허은아 국민의힘 의원), “악질적인 점은 실수가 아니라 의도적이라는 데 있다”(이상헌 더불어민주당 의원), “의도를 가지고 넣었다면 조롱”(류호정 정의당 의원)이라는 정치인들의 반응은 ‘개소리’ 기세를 더 강화할 뿐이었다. 정치권의 메시지는 ‘사상 검증을 하지 말라’ ‘페미니스트가 뭐가 문제냐’여야 했다. 기업은 개소리꾼의 개소리를 수용할 것이 아니라 무시해야 했다. 언론은 ‘집게손 논란’이라는 제목으로 개소리를 앞다퉈 보도하지 말아야 했다.

The politicians’ responses—“Why are you engaging in social movements at your workplace?” (People Power Party Rep. Heo Eun-ah), “The malicious point is not that it was a mistake, but that it was intentional” (Democratic Party Rep. Lee Sang-heon), “If it was put in with intention, it would be ridiculed” (Justice Party Rep. Ryu Ho-jeong)—only added to the bullshit’s momentum. Instead, the message from the political world should have been, “Don’t engage in a feminist check,” and “What’s the problem with feminists anyway?” Companies should have ignored this bullshit of bullshits, not blindly accepted it, and the media should not have rushed to report it under the title ‘Claw Hand Controversy.’

‘페미니스트는 남성 혐오론자이기 때문에 그런 집게손가락 모양을 넣었을 것’이라는 ‘개소리 담론’에 기업, 정치인, 언론 등이 동조한 결과는 ‘일터를 잃는 노동자’다. 2016년 ‘소녀에게 왕자는 필요 없다’는 글이 쓰인 티셔츠를 입었다는 이유로 교체된 성우처럼, 과거 에스엔에스에 페미니즘 관련 글을 올렸다는 이유로 2023년에 계약 해지된 게임 ‘림버스 컴퍼니’의 그림작가처럼 말이다.

Source: Twitter/@KNKNOKU via BBC.

The result of companies, politicians, media, and so on agreeing with the bullshit discourse, that “feminists must have put that index finger symbol because they are male haters,” is workers losing their jobs. Just like the voice actor who was replaced in 2016 for wearing a T-shirt with the words “Girls do not need a prince” written on it, the illustrator of the game Limbus Company whose contract was terminated in 2023 for [retweeting tweets that used derogatory terms for men].

개소리를 하며 ‘사상 검증’을 정당화하는 이들에게 말해주자. 너희 주장은 개소리라고. 페미니즘이 뭐가 문제냐고. 너희들이 페미니즘을 알긴 아느냐고.

Let’s tell those who spew bullshit in the name of feminist checks: Your arguments are bullshit. What’s the problem with feminism anyway? Do you guys even know *anything* about feminism? (END)

(For more information, in chronological order over November to December, including the response of the Nexon Union, please see the Korea JoongAng Daily, this Reddit thread, Korea Bizwire, the Korea Times, and again the Korea JoongAng Daily.)

Now fast forward to mid-January 2024, when multiple media outlets reported that in the name of gender equality, the government was immediately replacing the ‘male’ pictogram in some of the emergency exit signs nationwide with more obviously ‘female’ ones. Some outlets added that it was at the behest of women’s groups.

I’m sure I don’t need to outline the absurdities of such a plan. Nor that (most of) the multiple, eminently justifiable criticisms, did not necessarily stem from misogyny.

But more often than not, feminists became the target anyway.

Because at best, the new design was actually just one of many possibilities considered for updating the signs, to replace the existing ones only as per needed (so, no extra cost at all). Whereas at worst—and it’s unclear which applies, frankly—it was a complete fabrication of the media.

As were the supposed women’s groups that were demanding it:

직장인 A씨(29)는 “새 픽토그램을 보니 긴 머리에 치마를 입고 가슴 부분이 튀어나와 있었다”며 “여성 중에 이런 기호를 원하는 사람이 실제로 얼마나 되겠냐. 오히려 여성을 희화화한 듯하다”라고 말했다. 한 누리꾼은 “누군가 일부러 논란을 만들었다고 생각될 정도”라고 했다.

한 여성단체 관계자는 “어떤 기사에선 ‘여성단체 등이 요구해왔기 때문’이란 식으로 설명했던데, 그런 요구를 한 단체가 어디에 있나. 괴담 수준의 터무니없는 얘기”라며 “오히려 성 고정관념을 고착화하는 그림이다”라고 비판했다. (Kyunghyang Shinmun)

Office worker A (29) said, “When I looked at the new pictogram, I saw her with long hair and a skirt and her breasts sticking out,” adding, “How many women actually want this symbol? “In fact, it seems like a caricature of women.” One netizen said, “It almost makes you think someone created controversy on purpose.”

An official from a women’s group said, “In some articles, it was explained as ‘because women’s groups have been making demands,’ but where is the group that made such demands?” “It is an absurd story at the level of a ghost story,” he criticized, adding, “Rather, it is a picture that perpetuates gender stereotypes.”

And from the Dailian:

…”이런 것도 성별 갈라치기 소재로 쓰냐” 라는 등 비판 의견이 쏟아졌다.

…[Netizens] said “Is this just another thing that can be used to divide the sexes?”

Image sources: 스포츠하국, Pixabay (edited).

Now, you could rightfully argue that the media was responsible in that case, not technically the manosphere.

Only, there’s a great deal of synergy between the two.

Crucial context is that the notoriously clickbaity Korean media is one of the least trusted in the (developed) world, and that it is heavily male-dominated. Add that Korea is a deeply patriarchal country, currently in the midst of a polarizing “gender war,” then a constant backlash of ‘journalists’ scapegoating feminists for all Korea’s ills is all too predictable.

The deceit involved can be staggeringly blatant and obvious. I’ve even caught out with one bullshit story myself. When, after ‘reporting’ on a literally non-existent controversy over Berry Good member Johyun‘s cosplay above, then getting the sought-after inflamed response from the manosphere, the media added insult to injury by blaming the entire controversy on the reports of a single female reporter, who criticized Johyun for her overexposure despite praising male nudity in previous articles.

Only, her article on Johyun wasn’t published until several hours after news about about the controversy first appeared. (And ironically, her article wasn’t at all like it was described; in fact, they it was just as clickbaity as everyone else’s, and provided no basis to label her a feminist.)

Sources: MLBPark (1; since deleted); 2)

But still: these three cases alone are insufficient evidence of systematic misogyny by Korean journalists and the media. I do strongly suspect though, that a thorough investigation by academics, media-watchdogs, and/or feminist groups will undoubtedly reveal that such an agenda exists. Likely, many such investigations have already been conducted, so I’ll follow this post up with those at a later date.

In the meantime, Korean or otherwise, I will never, ever trust any news source that makes claims about unnamed women’s and feminist groups.

As part of my own 2024 agenda though, I try to highlight the positive where I can, and can’t end on that note.

So, with my apologies for the crappy quality of my digital camera back in the late-2000s, finally let me remind you of when, in a bid to challenge antiquated gender roles and encourage more equitable childcare between parents, subway-caregiver signs with a female figure were gradually replaced with an androgynous one. They were only replaced as per needed, so they didn’t cost extra money, leaving even the most vitriolic of incels struggling to oppose them without exposing their misogyny. Which is probably why I haven’t actually seen one with a female caregiver ever since.

Only, doing my due diligence, I’m sorry to report that today I learned my experience isn’t at all universal (let alone my nonexistent experience of female spaces). That the initiative stalled, and that as of 2019, many Seoul subway stations still have almost entirely female caregivers in their signs. Most ironically and symbolically perhaps, in Gangnam Station, where 100% of them are of women:

Source: Hankook Ilbo.

So, the fight continues, even over the little things. But it does continue.

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If you reside in South Korea, you can donate via wire transfer: Turnbull James Edward (Kookmin Bank/국민은행, 563401-01-214324)